Tags: threats

Prototype

My Story

I have an insane need to share my story. I've kept quiet about it long enough, and I'm bursting in need of support; people who know what I'm going through, people who care.

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Notes

My cry for help...

I need help getting out of my abusive situation.

First off, I have a 3 year old son with him. We live together. He is abusive and threatens to kill me if I call the cops on me. He is very very crazy, and says if I put him in jail he'll kill me when he gets out. He has nothing to lose.

I live in Canada. I would like to know if anyone can either refer me to someone on LJ that has gotten out of a similar situation, give me advice on what to do, or refer me to websites or services that can help me. Anything that might be useful to me.

I am desperate as I am scared as hell of what's going to happen to me and my son.

Thank you.

~Paperwings
green eye

allow me to introduce myself...

im a 21 year old suvior of domestic abuse on my now ex fiancees behaf (sp)it started out as control a issue (i.e. banning me from close friends) rose to not wanting me to start college because he "didnt trust the guys there" and escaladed to one night beating me and raping me to "teach me a lesson" for having lunch with a group of new founded friends (and one of them was an old male friend from high school).

i met the guy when i was only 19 and 3 weeks after high school graduation. i was in fear of losing all my friends because of the changes so i immediatly started dating guys and that is when mike stepped into my life. within the first week of us dating, he told me he loved me. i was weirded out by that, so, trying to be nice, i only told him that it was too soon for me to say the same. he disreaguarded that and began his controling of my life and what i do. i was not alowed to be around some of my closest friends because he felt that they either were a bad influence (mostly because if he thought they had more money than him, that ment they were rich and i should not get used to that because then i would expect him to pay for things all the time!) or if my friends just happen to be male, he would immediatly loathe them and tell me if i ever talked to them again i would regret it. i moved an hour away to college and i grew sick of the controlling he was puting me thru...i wanted friends and my old life back. we fought at least once a week about the same issues. i was told by him i was not to go out with anyone to anyplace without him. i couldnt go to any campus functions, parties, or even a club unless he was with me. i was under no cercumstances to be gone past 9pm because that was when he got free minutes on his cell phone and he could call me!i couldnt stand to be living by his rules..i began to rebel and one afternoon, some friends and i met an old friend of mine on campus for lunch. mike found out and that night he beat and raped me in his apartment as punishment for disobaying him. that same weekend, after i had left mike's apartment, i met pat, my now fiancee. after meeting him, i decided that this mess has got to stop. in the mean time, mike proposes to me and after i still say i am not ready (we had only been together for 3 months and the ring was also his pathetic way of saying he was sorry) he insists that i still take the ring and wear it. i take it but only wear it around him.

when i finally worked up the nerve to dump him, he didnt leave me or my family and friends alone for 2 months, then just disappeared over night. i thought the nightmare was over...i moved on and ended up dating and getting engaged to the man i now know and love dearly.

one day this past february, after doing a minor update on my wedding web page, i get quite a few nasty notes (including a virus) in my guestbook on my wedding web page from mike! this scared me so much...i thought he had given up and moved on...but apparently not. he got our new addy and phone number from my old roomie who gained a grudge against me (mostly because i caught her trying to make a move on my man!) he even went as far as to get my cell number (i dont know how but he got it) and called me on both phones harrassing me for weeks and weeks. we moved and changed all our phone numbers and he never found out till about a couple of weeks ago because my 15 year old cousin got mad at me for telling her mother that i caught her doing drugs at my house. so her way of getting me back was to give mike all our information...he once again knows everything about us except our licence plate numbers. i have been denied the protective order because i did not report the rape and violence when it happened and it was so long ago..they dont think he will do anything again...he has threatened to kill me on many occasions...2 time recently...ive been to 2 sherriff departments and they keep passing me back off on the other because they dont want to file or do paper work to get harrassment charges on him. its like i dont matter and no one will do anything till he does do something to me..by then it will be too late...

im here to talk about the things he did to me... get support and give lots of support in return..i just recently started talking about the things mike did to me...it took me this long to come out and say something.