Tags: sleep

made of thread and patches

(no subject)

I've been supressing a lot of emotions lately...and I know it's not safe to do, especially when I'm fighting pnuemonia, which may or may not be TB...but...there's so much going on and my mental state is going haywire.

-I've lost my best friend. He basically gave up on me. Too much baggage or something. Once again, someone who said that they would be different? In the end, just the same.
-The girl that I love, who has been a very good stabalising force? She was attacked and spent all weekend in the hospital, but I can't do anything because she's in a completely different state from me across the country.
-My one friend here? Has to go into surgery.
-Mother's in the hospital again. Brother is trying to make me go and take care of her.


I'm spiraling out of control, my sleep is getting more sporadic. Partially from coughing, partially from randomly waking up crying. I lay awake at night trying to distract myself and failing. I start classes on Monday and that terrifies me. What if my health interferes once again. What if I get into a situation I can't get out of? I hate public transportation, but its' all I have...with a class that gets out at 9:35...

I don't know what to do and I can't post this in my actual journal...not even on my filter. I don't want to worry other people. They all have their own issues....they don't need my issues as well. After all, they would be in the same boat I am. On the other side of the country...helpless. I feel so sick.
fuck it

why is this true? my horoscope for today

Don't expect today to be a low-key and relaxing day, for your restlessness is likely get you up and going even if you stayed out late last night. Unfortunately, you could waste too much energy without really enjoying yourself. Instead of getting involved with distracting activities, try to accomplish something useful without taking on too much.

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