Tags: recovery

about Birdsong's December Meetings - News & Topics

[Hello I am Celeste, new to this community. When I was looking for a group to help with my own recovery and couldn't find anything I helped start one with the help of a doctor I met at one of the progams I attended, which has now become BirdSong. We are a not-for-profit, non-sectarian, free-thinking organization created by and for Women with a history of incest &/or related childhood trauma that holds weekly, facilitated, peer-empowerment groups in NYC's upper East Side in an atmosphere cushioned by trust and safety.]

Hello, Birdsong Ladies!

We here at Birdsong want to take a brief moment to wish you and your loved ones a happy holiday season!

As many of you know this is a very exciting time for our organization as we are finishing our certifications in Albany and are readying ourselves to begin fundraising!! In addition, we are taking this as an opportunity to announce some very exciting changes in the format of our weekly meetings.

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Season's GReetings from everyone at Birdsong


(no subject)

I know in my soul recovery is possible.  I feel it to the depths of my being.  I have been to the darkest of places in my mind's eye and come out on the other side, time and time again.  It has cycled for me.   There have been periods of despair and confusion I never thought would end, but they did, and I was granted reprieve after reprieve.  I am changing.  I am growing.  I am evolving.  While I am still experiencing the effects of the situations I lived through during my lifetime, they are not as profound, not as gripping, and not as paralyzing as previously during my journey.  There is hope.  As long as there is breath, there is hope.

Angeli 
Energy burst

Weekly Thought Stirring: Cycles (public)

Many of us are familiar with the unhealthy cycles of trauma and recovery - as abuse is often cyclical. Our abusers often cycle between hurting us and a period of apology and relative peace. It's because of that cycle that so many of us stay in those relationships. During a time of peace, or even apology on the part of our abusers, we feel hopeful for the future, and begin doubting our experiences as valid, etc. So much of abuse is cyclical.

Something that's often mentioned in _survivors_ is that healing, too, is cyclical - that we must go through cycles of processing our trauma over time before our traumatic memory is transitioned into "normal" memory, and we can notice a major difference in our PTSD symptoms. It's so hard to face another round of processing, because it feels like we've taken a step back - but truly, each time we re-process something, we get one step closer to feeling better and more stable.

So this week we'll talk about cycles, both positive and negative. Sometimes, just seeing that you aren't alone in both types of cycles can be a big relief - as so many of us feel we are or were weak for remaining in abusive relationships, or that there's something wrong with us for experiencing our healing as a cycle, too.

This week's questions are:
- What cycles were present in your abuse? Was there a pattern of abuse and then reconciliation/apology?
- What cycles are present in your healing? Do you re-process memories again over time?
me

Hello from a new member

Hello everyone. I've been thinking of looking into an abuse survivor community here in LiveJournal for a while now. I'm glad to have found this one. My story is a very long and involved one. I have PSD from physical abuse at the hands of my mother, a disfunctional home life, and some other various things. I've been feeling a lot better due to recently getting on medication, being lucky enough to get some closure, and gaining a wonderful home life with my wife.

I still have nightmares and my hands shake a bit. I'm still carrying the burden of the past, but it's getting better as time goes by.

Re-learn

I just had a really random thought today that I thought I'd share. It's been five months since my ordeal, and it occurred to me that the recovery process is a lot like recovering from a brain injury. I feel like I'm having to re-learn everything about life all over again. Who I can trust, including what I can trust about my own thoughts and emotions. I was on such a good path in life before everything happened, and the loss was just so instantaneous and complete, that I've had to literally start over from scratch and attempt to rebuild every aspect of my life. Like someone who's had a brain injury I'm determined to regain everything I had before, but at the same time, I get so angry at what I've lost sometimes, that it's just so hard to keep going. Rehabilitation in this case is counseling, it's just to bad I can't get my husband to agree to go.

He's still angry about everything, and has admitted as much, but he won't do counseling. He said that he knows that he needs to deal with things with us, and that he's been putting it off because he doesn't want to upset me more and more, but I've told him that I'm getting well enough to talk more about it. Since that conversation he hasn't said anything more, and has been spending as much time with his friends as he can (at least thats how it feels). Maybe he is feeling better, but I doubt it if we haven't talked. How have you guys helped your significant others get through your assaults? (This is particulary difficult since my attacker was one of his best friends, they were in the service together, my husband was deployed and this "friend" was back in the states for medical reasons.)

(no subject)

I'm not certain how appropriate this is for this community, but I'm not really sure where else to ask it at.

Being survivors, we are familiar with the recovery process because in some way, because we're all having a recovery right now.

My question is, what movies can you think of that are about recovery? I know that Stuart Saves His Family is a good one (and, if you haven't seen it, you need to. Campy, but not bad.) and When a Man Loves a Woman. What other ones? I find it hard to believe there haven't been more made in that vein, but I sure can't think of them right now.

So, if this doesn't fit, sistahraven it's no hard feelings if you delete the post.

Thanks!