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_Survivors_
A safe space to share stories and ask questions
 
18th-Apr-2005 11:47 am - negotiating
dog, joyride
x-posted in forcedlove and mybodytaken

I was talking with a friend recently and we were sharing experiences that we thought were unique to us and became so excited when we realized that we were not the only ones who had done this. I will not share this person's story. It isn't mine to share, but I will share the ways in which I negotiated for control in the relationship and carried a lot of shame as a result. The relationship with my ex-fiance...well, the outcome was inevitable, it seemed. So I did a series of actions to try to take the control back, yet these actions are actions that made me petrified to share with anyone, much less a prosecutor, because I knew it would be turned back around on blaming me, though it was a survival strategy. I suspect there are others who will read this who may feel validated as well.

Cut for probable triggers. Stay safe, some of this is graphicCollapse )
19th-Nov-2004 02:14 pm - First post here
Hi--
I hope this isn't considered too off-topic, but there is a really dangerous lj user I want to warn people about.

I started seeing this guy three years ago, and it was great at first. He got more and more violent with me, sexually, but stayed within the realm of stuff I'm into doing. Then, after spending a couple of months apart (he moved), he became totally violent. He would do things that were really out of line, without even asking if it was ok. He admitted to "fantasizing" about raping women and even children. After dealing with
this, and the increasing neglect for my safety and comfort, we broke up.

Now, he has a brand new lj. I discovered him in a community I belong to, and he has been joining all sorts of sex-related communities, basically describing himself as a normal person. It really freaks me out that he could get his hands on another woman. I tried contacting community moderators to explain what's going on, and no one has responded. One person said they would help get him banned from a community after hearing his side of the story--what's he going to say, yes I love to rape children, and the first chance I get...

Has anyone had any experience like this? I would like to do what I can to let lj users know about him, without putting myself and my lj in danger.

Thanks.
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