Tags: rape: attempted


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 hey guys, 
my name is carlie, 
im 18 years old,
and i am new here.
I have been watching this community for about a week and a half now,
and this seems like a really safe, supportive group.
This is the first time i have decided to get some support since
i was raped almost four years ago.
The anniversary is coming up soon... July 28th
I have always pushed
my  thoughts and feelings away 
regarding the whole thing.
Some of my old friends even tried to convince me it never happened,
and for a while i believed them.
Or at least I tried.
I was in such a state mentally that 
what they said would just make sense...
But that only lasted for a while.
After that, I just wouldn't face it...
or I thought somehow I was
strong enough that I already had.
But as I figured out about a month ago,
I am not.
All the stupid mistakes I have been 
making the last few years
have had fuel to them.
I was trying to run.
And now,
I have lost the race and 
my rape has caught up with me.
So, here I am.
To learn from you guys,
to support you guys,
to heal,
and to restore my own faith
in people.
I hope you all welcome me with open arms.
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(no subject)

so today
i went into work and a co worker/friend of mine Zach told me
that yesterday at like 1 pm.. some guy attacked his mom in their home.
i guess she was coming out of her room and he rushed her pushed her up against the table in the kitchen ripped her shirt off and was like just about to rape her and then he just ran off...
he said that they thnk they know who it was .. but
she can't confirm untill police show her photos...

anyways, hearing that story made me sick... zach's father is a pastor and someone broke into his grandparents car a few weeks ago... we chased after them and cops arrrested the guy.. but i cant help wondering if his mom being attacked had to do with that... thank goodness, she wasn't hurt or physically raped..

also, this guy that i was hooking up with randomly, called me yesterday and lots of times today...
we had a purely sexual relationshp and now he wants me to come over again...

What should i do?