Tags: motivation

From now on this is how I need to live...

I am NOT a VICTIM I am a SURVIVOR!!!!!!!!
I am NOT a VICTIM I am a SURVIVOR!!!!!!!!
I am NOT a VICTIM I am a SURVIVOR!!!!!!!!
I am NOT a VICTIM I am a SURVIVOR!!!!!!!!
I am NOT a VICTIM I am a SURVIVOR!!!!!!!!
I am NOT a VICTIM I am a SURVIVOR!!!!!!!!
I am NOT a VICTIM I am a SURVIVOR!!!!!!!!

... maybe it will make me feel better, I refuse to play victim, (harder done than said) I am sick of it, it annoys the fuck out of me, I refuse to let this control my life, I will do something about it rather than just sit here and mope around any longer! I can do it and I can show that I am infact a SURVIVIOR!

"I'm a survivor,
I'm not gonna give up
I'm not gon' stop,
I'm gonna work harder
I'm a survivor,
I'm gonna make it
I'm a survivor, keep on survivin' "
-Destinys Child


I'm so happy.. which is a first for a long time! I get to see my boyfriend today when I go to my mother's house in Rockland. He is going to be there around 4:30 so we can get our Christmas pictures taken with each other... I talked to him on the phone last night for like a half hour. He told me he had something for me that held a special place in his heart, and I deserved to have it because I held a special place in his heart too. =) Then I told him to tell me what it was and he said ti was a surprise and then accidentally while trying to tease me with un-guessable hints accidentally said it was a ring.. (not an engagement ring, I'm only 17 helll no I'm not getting engaged! lol) but then he said there was something else to go with it but he wouldn't give me any type of hints or clues because he didn't want to ruin the rest of my surprise... I am so happy, Bryan is the best boyfriend anyone could have... He's been my friend since I was 13, he knows all about my past with my physical/sexual abuse, rapes, and drug and alcohol history... He is so understanding too... and I know he is sincere, I just have that feeling... it's different from other boyfriends in the past (which I've only had like 3 or 4 all together) where they say I love you after your first hour together... and then just to get in your pants. We talk about that stuff and both agreed we wanted to wait to say anything like that, or do anything like that. We want our relationship to be special, sex and love brings too much drama into relationships and I hate drama as well as he does. It's going to suck in about a month or two... I guess I missed a lot with him, because he went to bootcamp like last summer... that was when I had lost contact with him, I hadn't known he'd already went I thought he had to wait until he was 18 and graduated, but I guess not he went in through some program where you go the summer before your senior year then and go through bootcamp and school while you are there and then you come back and are basically done.. because he just graduated like 2 1/2months ago... So, when he gets his liscence in about 1 to 2 months he is going to become active in the Army National Guard.. First he is going to start out as a truck driver for the Guard, and then move his way up... oh I'm sooo happy... When I can I will get our pictures up ... <3  with love, me

Thought stirring

One thing all abuse survivors encounter sometimes is a lack of motivation. Sometimes it's that our depression makes us feel like our efforts are worthless, or that our panic keeps us frozen, or sometimes it's that we're putting so much effort into our healing process that everyday things like eating, communicating, and working become too exhausting to accomplish. Recovery and regaining our stability and happiness after trauma is exhausting work - and so few of us get the support we need from family, co-workers, or even the government to allow us the time we need to heal - jobs are often just as demanding, rent is still due, I'm sure you all know the feeling.

When we do get a rest from working towards our goals, we struggle between taking a moment to rest and using that time to accomplish more everyday things. Finding the motivation to get even a few of the everyday things done in addition to therapy, etc. can be grueling, and that's what this week's question concerns: motivation.

So, this week's questions:
1) When do you most often encounter difficulties getting motivated? Is it easier for you to motivate yourself towards therapy and healing, or easier to focus on job-related work or everyday tasks and chores?
2) If you do have problems with motivation, do you have any ways of finding that motivation? How is it that you motivate yourself?

and the bonus question:
What form of motivation has been most effective for you, personally, to help you achieve your goals?

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So what motivates you? What do you struggle with? This will be a great opportunity to learn some more ways to help get us through the times when getting out of bed might even be a daunting task.