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I have a problem.
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His friends told him that I had slept with his best friend.
He kept begging me to tell him that it wasn't true. (It isn't, obviously.) He said he was so upset that he doubted our relationship, and swore up and down that he had never cheated on me.
I'm upset that his friends did this. I can't figure out why they would - I've met them, they're okay guys, and they seemed to like me. How on earth could it get switched around like that? My boyfriend is the only guy I've found to be attractive in a very long time - how could they do that? How could they use me as a weapon against him like that?
I'm thinking about approaching them tomorrow when they're sober. Maybe if they see that I won't put up with those lies, they will stop spreading them...
What did I do to deserve this?
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I'm still feeling better about us, I am just frustrated with our different views, and I want change to come faster than a crawl. At least we are good to eachother during this crawl.
The next day we were out driving and I brought up something I had been thinking about my therapy and my anger. This lead her to bring up finding one herself. She said she didn't want to call until we were sure she was covered. I've been paying for insurance for both of us for 3 months and she is in the university records, we just haven't recieved new insurace cards. So I assumed she is covered and I got defensive about her making what I thought to be more excuses. I was panicy and got mad. I asked if once I called HR she would call a therapist. "Maybe" was her answer.
We didn't have a fight, but we had a strong conversation about how its discouraging and it is easy for me to take this as another procrastination when she is already avoiding her student loans and procrastinating on calling the university to finalize the degree for her paperwork. We ended it with us both quiet and her saying she'd call. Within an hour we were talking again and had a decent night playing cards. Only slight tension.
So today I called HR and the university has record of her, they have been charging me, but the insurance provider never got notified to add her. Now I feel like an ass, she was right about that point. It makes me feel bad for treating it like another excuse (though it may really have been an avoidance tactic). Who knows. Blah. I want to balance on the fine line of motivating her to get help without being a bully.
And my boss sent me a bad email today, so I'm not doing so hot. This week has really gotten me wound up. Gotta keep it in check so I don't do things to wind myself up any tighter.
i've missed u guys so much theres so much i need to fill u in on but it needs to be under a lj cut but this computer won't let me so i have to wait till thrusday to fill u in on everything. i have a new boy friend again he's really nice but has an anger problem an short temper. last night him an i got into a seriously bad fight to the point where i wanted to end it. i wanna cut so bad but have been trying not to for my god son. i'm still in a really depressed state also just b/c of everything else going on. i'm no longer able to see racheal or do anything with her, she's become a really bad influence on me and my sis. last night i told my mom that rach an des had smoked (weed) which i feel really bad doing it but des is only 13. i have been calling my self a slut, peice of shit. an saying just fucking shot me. i hate myself and have no respect for my self. i don't want to be here anymore i just wanna die. i called my counsler an made an appointment with her for tomorrow. hopefully after that i will be doing a little better. i have skewl registration tomorrow too i'm dreading with a passion but i gotta go for no this is some of the stuff going on once we get our computer hooked back up again then i can tell the rest i hope everyone is doing good if not excallent but gtta go bye