i miss gibby so much things are so diffrent without him you here. everytime i see someone smokin it put me to tears cause it reminds me of you. also how you died trying to get clean. gibby my vow to you is to never smoke weed ever again an try myhardest in school. you have inspired me so much and also made me learn things easy and hard. not a day goes by now that i don't tell everyone of my friends i love them. cause i never got my chance to tell you!!! not a day goes by that i don't think about you sometimes it puts me in tears. you lived a short but happy life you lived it to the fullest i love you gibby
12-25-89 - 10-30-06
So, I don't post in this community much because I have a hard time staying online and whatnot but due to recent events I can start to make time. My boyfriend of a year and I just broke up yesterday for the last and final time. Too much is going on with school and both of my jobs, and I was getting tired of his shit and he kept saying it was me and my mood swings and whatnot; but I didn't have control of them because of taking birth control and so much stress.
But, my story is pretty upsetting and I won't go into it because of triggering moments but I lost my best friend because of my rape. He protected me & was killed because of it. My rapist did things for so many years to scare me and it just got too enough.
Well, the other day I found a note on my car on campus and it freaked me out beyond words and my ex (now) didn't even care about my protection, he was just like what do you want me to do and all I wanted was to be held or told everything will be okay, I promise. But no, so we broke up.. and well, my best friend I think spited him and five minutes later after breaking up with me, Chris got into a car accident (my best friend died in a car accident) and was pretty banged up. I was upset and as weird as it sounds, I sat in my backyard last night looking up and told Nick so. I saw Nick in my dreams last night and he said I only wanted to protect you.
Anyhow, this upcoming Thursday. I'm getting my tattoo in memory of him and how he protected me from my rapists and whatnot. He couldn't save me then, but he's doing a damn near good job right now. IU'm looking forward too it and I think my ex or another friend is going with me for support. I'll post pictures and whatnot, I'm just really excited.
Today was my friend Dustin's Wake/Funeral, I went there to pay my respect's to the family.
I was waiting in line with Brandon when I saw him. Trevor with his friends I felt tears swelling in my eyes and flashback's kept springing up. How he held me down and took the one thing I could ever truely call my own. He saw me and smiled and nudged his friends I grabbed Brandon's shirt he shrugged me off and was like get over it.
Than he walked away to go flirt with some girl.
I stood there trying not to cry. Than Trevor brushed passed me and I just stiffened he stopped talked to his friend while looking at me he raised his eye brows and I ran over to Brandon. I told him I couldn't do this and he's like than go as he wrote down the girls number.
I cried the whole way home.