Today I got a call from my landlord.  He called about the rent. He needed it by noon!  I called John (my ex-fiance who i had to relocate across the country from.)  He was mean, showed no sign of remorse for what he'd done, and eventually hung up on me.  I was just crying like the whole conversation.  It sucks 'cos I have no closure on this relationship at ALL.  The idiot has my address here, as well.  I'm so pissed at his dad for giving him my address.  SO PISSED.  I guess his dad has no idea what had really happened, afterall.  

I asked John to tell me he's sorry, but he wouldn't.  He said "I'm taking care of the rent and shipping you your shit. that's sorry enough.  what will it take to get it through your skull I will never tell you I'm sorry."  He said earlier that just 'cos he's not saying it doesn't mean he isn't.  He just said he'd never tell me.

He tried to make me out to be the bad guy for bailing.  What else was I to do, though?  (Those of you who read my story will understand, I'm sure.)

Have y'all ever, out of necessity, contacted your abuser and then regretted it?  What was it like?  Why are they so hostile?  Why do they make us out to be bad?  What can I expect to happen now?  I'm heart-broken ALLLL over again.