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21st-Apr-2008 08:50 pm(no subject)
I'm going to update you all on some of the stuff that has been going on with me and my so called life... It may be long, or short... but it goes where my mind goes, and I need to get this all out of my head.
Cut for-- Friend problems, family problems, mention of past rape and past abuse, brother getting out of jail, having a warrant go back out for my brothers arrest, mention of drugs, stressful situations, dealing with chronic pain, dealing with depression, dealing with suicide Ideas, and I think that is it... warn me if I missed anything.Collapse )
And that is all I've got to say on all this. I'm sorry if anyone actually read this. But props to you if you did.
With hope.
11th-Aug-2007 03:57 pm(no subject)
I'm learning that I am codependent...and it bothers me. I'm a little embarassed and very angry that my past problems are affecting my life now and holding me back from being able to understand myself and express myself.

Things have been falling into place and it's comforting and scary at the same time. There's all these things that I thought made me crazy, meant I was wired incorrectly. Now they all get traced back to the fact that there is this terrified little kid inside that somehow didn't get essential survival skills and a strong sense of self along the way.

I'm scared of change. I hope some things in my life change for the best right now...and I hope some things in my life aren't beyond the scope of recovery. But I also need to learn that whatever change happens...I'll be okay.

Why is that lesson so hard to get??
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