Sometimes i really don't know what to do. Do i want to continue living or just end it all? I'm sure some of you feel like that too. I've had a pretty hard life, being sexually, emotionally and i suppose you can say ritually abused too. I was also badly bullied because i was talented and clever. It took me a while to believe that the bullying wasn't my fault, but infact they were only jealous. After the abuse and bullying, i became severely depressed. I cut, turned to bulimia and anorexia and became fearful of everything around me. The person who abused me was my grandad. The abuse lasted for 8 years and i still don't talk about it. The details are too disturbing and i suppose i'm ashamed of some things. One thing that i found helpful for my healing was a sheet that you basically fill out and keep so you can look back further down the line to see if your thoughts and feelings have changed. I've filled mines out and if you wish, you can fill yours out too, just go onto my profile.x
not only have i been raped once, but it's happened twice. and there seems to be a cycle going on. however, i only feel comfortable talking about the first incident. i wrote about what happened to me in a college newspaper, so i guess that was a sign i was able to cope. but i was made somewhat anonymous. here i go:
the thing now is that with the second incident, it triggered memories from the first incident, feelings that i thought i had gotten past. on top of that, i decided last month that i wasn't gonna get involved with anyone else until i started counseling or therapy. as my luck would have it, when i'm not looking for anyone, someone always seems to find me. there is this guy that i'm really liking and i was really trying to fight the fact that i have feelings for him only 3 weeks into getting to know him. we went out Monday and he told me that he felt this connection between us. i was so caught off guard, although my guard was up. i broke down on Thursday and told him i liked him, too. however, i feel like if i let him get anywhere near my heart, he's gonna hurt me. i feel i need to tell him that. but all of this is so scary. i told him i was scared to tell him i liked him because i thought it was too soon for me to be liking him only three weeks in. i need advice on what to do. are we still moving too fast? how do i tell him what happened to me without scaring him? well, he did tell me that in time, i could ask anything of him. i'm just confused.
Hey, guys..Im a newbie. I dont have much time to post as much as I would like to, but...in a nutshell. I was emotionally/mentally and physically abused and threatened in the sixth grade, and I just got out of an emotionally abusive relationship that also included death threats/etc. Since about sixth or seventh grade, an adult family friend has been making me very sexually uncomfortable by touching me and such...and I am afraid that he is doing it to my sister and friends, too!!
I'm scared, because I dont know how to make him stop. I cant tell my parents, because they are really good friends with him and I dont want anyone to get in trouble.