_Survivors_

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This week's questions are:
- Is your relationship with food healthy?

- How has the rape or abuse you survived changed or affected your relationship with food?

- Do you have any insight or advice for those who are struggling to have a healthy relationship with food?

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This week's questions:
- Has your appearance changed as a result of your abuse or rape?
- What is different between how you currently look, and your mental image of yourself?
- What aspect of your appearance would you like to reclaim, or make line up with your mental image of yourself?

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Cut for length; I don't think there are any triggers

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Sara

Thank you all for your well-wishes. I managed to spill hot bacon drippings all over my hand yesterday, and sustained second degree burns :P While I'm still a bit blistery, I can type MUCH better than my sad attempts last night.

So, without further ago, onto this week's questions!

Survivors of trauma commonly experience low self-esteem. Whether they've been told by their abusers that they are ugly or stupid, or whether an attack makes them fearful of being beautiful, survivors of all flavors often are very critical of themselves and their appearances. And with depression distorting our thoughts even further, it is often very difficult for a survivor to remember that they are beautiful and special.

With so much of today's society focused on image, promoting endless plastic surgeries and diet fads, it's often very easy to feel like you're not good enough physically. Too often external looks are valued too highly, and a person's individuality gets lost in the shuffle.

One of the most empowering things for a survivor is to reclaim her or his beauty. Reclaiming your beauty takes back the power your abuser stole from you when they made you feel ugly and stupid. Sometimes it has nothing to do with your physical beauty - reclaiming the beautiful essence that makes you you can be incredibly powerful. So this week's questions will be focused on reclaiming your beauty!

This week's questions are:
- How has your abuse affected your image of yourself? Did your feelings change about yourself after your abuse?
- What physical aspect of yourself do you love the most? What wouldn't you change about your physical appearance? (even if you had gazillions of dollars and surgeons at your disposal)
- What part of your personality and life is essential to who you are? What trait or passion makes you you?

Bonus question:
- What aspects of your beauty (physical or individual/personal) have you reclaimed?

Many thanks go to autumnfaerie for inspiring this week's question! ::huggles::

Most survivors, of all flavors of abuse, have trouble struggling with their body image. Sometimes we feel ashamed or ugly, other times we are worried that looking "too pretty" could be dangerous. No matter what the reason, many of us have trouble seeing ourselves in a true light - we either don't give ourselves enough credit, or hold our looks responsible for being in a dangerous situation. For many of us this leads to eating disorders, overexercise, or covering up our bodies so no one can see them. Sometimes, our body image troubles can go so far as to make us self harm. Dealing with body image after abuse is no easy task, but it's one that we all go through nonetheless. (On a more personal note - you are *brave* for tackling it, each and every one of you!)

So this week's question will come in a few parts, and hopefully will give you all the opportunity to learn some more ways of showing your body some more love. Many times we send a lot of anger towards the parts of ourselves we don't like. I've been doing some reading and found that some people have found that showing positive emotions to our bodies (even the parts we really don't like) can actually help us to remember that even the parts of our bodies we like the least are still beautiful and deserving of love. For example, some suggest that a gentle massage of areas you don't like makes you feel better about the area and helps increase circulation, which can make skin clearer, firmer, etc.

1) What is your *favorite* part of your body, and why? How do you show or express your love of this part of your body? (it's okay if you don't have an answer for how you express love to it!)

2a) Which is your least favorite part of your body and why?
2b) How can you show that area of your body more love? Would massage work for you? Would putting soothing lotions on the area help you to show that area most love?

and lastly, the bonus question:

3) What has helped you most in your struggles to love your body?

So there it is... I know it's a bit abstract, but give it a try. There's no wrong answers, so answer away!

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I know many of us here struggle with body image and eating disorders... and I thought this article was perfect to demonstrate how the modern image of beauty is absolutely absurd :)

From Dove's "Campaign for real beauty" page: (which can be found here: http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.co.uk/home.asp)

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Imagery can be both focusing and healing, a wonderful reminder of things which comfort us, or of our inner strength. Inspired by some of last week's answers, this week's question is about how you view yourself.

A few of you mentioned a self-portrait, or a picture of yourself as things you focus on to get you through. Images such as these can remind us of where we've been, how much we've grown, what we loved and what we didn't, and what things about ourselves that we cherish.

So this week's question is:
If you were to paint a self-portrait, or get to arrange a photo of yourself, what would you include? What would be important to you to have with you in that portrait? If you were painting, what colors would you use? Would you have friends, family, or even animals with you? If you had no limit, what would have to be a part of that portrait?

Bonus question: Why would you choose those things?

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So, feel free to answer or not to answer. Remember, these questions are for you, to help think of how to get through the hard times, how to progress through your journey. The important thing is not what writing comes of these, but what comfort does.

You have all done a fantastic job with this over the last couple months. So frickin' proud to be a part of you as a community.