I'M STILL HYPER.
This is fantastic - it's the first time in YEARS that I've not been Depressed, even a little bit. I have NO SI urges, etc etc.
WOOOOOOOO. *drinks coffee*
but i think i have bipolar, infact i am 100% certain.
The only thing is that i have never consulted a doctor about it.
Just reading about disorder, i realise that i have every single symptom and i feel the same way as other bipolar sufferers.
How do i find out whether i have it or not?
I was doing some research today on something called 'Racing Thoughts' also known as 'Crowded Mind'. This is something I have seriously been affected by for a very long time. What I learned was that this may be a symptom of bipolar disorder. Which is something else I might be suffering from however I have not been diagnosed for bipolar so I cannot clearly say that I have it. I maintain my healing quite frequently. But I do have sudden outbursts if I forget to take my daily lexapro. I have more anger oubursts than I do depression outbursts so until I see a doctor to help me analyse what it is I may be suffering from I cannot tell for certain. However I thought it was crucial that I post the information that I found for those who may be disgnosed with bipolar disorder as knowledge is power. The information below is only a definition. Sometimes understanding what is going on inside of our minds is the best way to get help afterwards.
"Before I knew anything about bipolar disorder - much less than I myself had it - I called this sensation "racy brain." Thoughts and music would be zooming through my head so fast that sometimes I wanted to scream. If it was going on at bedtime, it could take me an hour or more of concentrating on word games to get myself to sleep.
Racing thoughts are not just "thinking fast." They are thoughts that just won't be quiet; they can be in the background of other thoughts or take over your consciousness; they can gallop around in the sufferer's head like a carousel gone out of control.
Components of racing thoughts can include music, snatches of conversation from movies or television or books, one's own voice or other voices repeating a phrase or sentences again and again, or even rhythms of pressure without any "sound" in the thought.
Racing thoughts is distinct from "hearing voices," which is a symptom of schizophrenia, severe mania or schizoaffective disorder.
Racing thoughts can be a symptom of mania, a mixed episode, depression or an anxiety disorder. Sometimes it is accompanied by a pounding heart or pounding pulses, including drumming in the ears. "
~ Marcia Purse
hi my name is Becky and at just 13 years old i was terribly raped. I won't introdice myself too much i'll let my journal do that. In there you'll see all about me. My attack was one of the triggers for me to develop manic depression.
However, i see my incident as a way of learning. For me to be streetwise that is. Now i want the world to know the horror of this crime and why i think not alot is being done about rape. Especially in my home country, England.
Hey all, as Take Back the Night approaches I've been craving the community of survivors and found you guys.
My name is Levi. I'm a survivor of perhaps too much to put here, or too much to articulate properly.
As a small, small child (3, 4, 5) I was sexually abused by my mother; I blocked these memories until I was 18 and living on the streets. Many of my relationships in the early years of dating were based around power struggles that all too often crossed the line. I am also a recovering alcoholic and addict, at the time I was using and all too often my relationships relied on drugs not respect.
None of these words show what I really need to say or what I really need to express. All too often I hide in the shell of the bare details, refusing to push further. My alcoholism, addiction, and bipolar disorder only serve as greater functions in the pattern of avoidence. It is easier to hide than to be real.
Never would I want to take what I have experieced away from myself; however, I would never wish it on someone else either. I would not be the person I am without every single experience up until this very moment--and for once in my life I do love the person who looks back in the mirror (for all her emotions, flaws, and assets.) I love the person I am today, I love the strength and power my abuse has given me today; it is not the battle of dealing with the abuse so much anymore, it is primarily the battle of dealing with trying to find a community where I fit (I'm a 21 year old college student who feels like she is 40.) In high school the community where I fit was the domestic violence, sexual assault, and incest prevention community; I spent three years of high school as a peer educator in a domestic violence prevention program. This community still remains a powerful (albeit geographically distant) force in my daily life...hopefully, you guys will be able to give me that strength of survival yet again.