Tags: therapy

(no subject)

Trying to decide if I  should call my friend or let her contact me.  I'm very nervous about it, getting better though.
Strange how this kind of thing can magnify what I am missing, but also solidly remind me of all the reasons I am with my partner and why I treasure us. 
I also realized that my friend triggers my neurosis.  I knew back when we first met that we'd never work.  I still see it now.  If we ever did date I think she would play on my emotional abuse scars way too much.  It's amazing that I can calmly sit and discuss this with my partner
So how should I approach my friend?    How do I reconscile the fact that I am attracted to my friend but logically don't want it, that I love my partner more than anything, but that I need more?

My partner brought up the idea of therapy last week.  Thats one of the first times she has brought it up on her own.  Maybe this could be a catalyst that help her find counselling. 

looping

I have a question. I was fifteen minutes late to my therapy appointment yesterday. I woke up at 8, fell back to sleep. woke up at 10:18 and had to be on other side of city in a suburb far away by 11. i chose to take a quick shower, because I went two days without one. I got there at 11:10, but by the time the receptionist called me in it was 11:15 and she did not even want to call my therapist telling me to reschedule. I told her that is up to him not her, and that traffic was really bad. she added the car accident thing. I just used it and lied. felt so guilty that i left him a message later confessing to the lie. I still had an ear infection in my ear, and went to after hours later and it has been there since Thursday last week, and the drops I have been using did not work all the way. I was ill, and I feel compelled to leave an other message telling him so he understands why I fell back to sleep. as I type, my right ear is ringing loudly and hurting me. My energy is better. I was sleeping all day. glad I have vacation time....

my question is this: I keep replaying my few minutes in his office. I let him read the previous post that I copy pasted into my text editor to share with him the stuff that happened on xmas. My question is, why do I keep replaying and looping my sessions, and try to analyze everything to death..... it is not just this, but other things that upset me. Is this part of the PTSD? To loop and obsess and replay things until you think you get what it means on as many levels as possible? i see his face, i see his tie, I see his watch, I hear his voice, I think about what words he chose..... and I wonder why.

I was scared to go yesterday any ways. he is helping me get through trauma. i am scared. I am becoming scared of him! do i tell him? it is not rational.
Hey you guys! I died!

(no subject)

Hey, I hope everyone is doing well, especially as the holidays approach- it is such a difficult season.

i was wondering, is anyone in this group from the Boston, MA area?
if so, can anyone recommend a doctor and/or facility that is sensitive to the issues of a patient with a sexual abuse past and triggers in relation to doctors?
thanks