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25th-Jan-2008 11:14 am - okay okay i can do this
make it stopp fuzzy
thank you all for the replies to my last post. the CT scan was not the scary kind. i got the contrast injected but i don't mind needles & that kind of pain. thanks again.

the rest is cut for anxiety regarding the other, upcoming doctor appointment

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thank you all for being here.
i hope you are safe and healthy and happy (and for those whom it applies, warm!)
15th-Jan-2008 04:07 pm(no subject)
I just had one of the worst mornings I've had in a long time.

cut for flashbacks, revisiting places with bad memories, mentions of rape, explicit details of attending sexual health clinic etc.Collapse )

My stepdad is so full of how brave I've been and how proud he is of me. I just want to curl up and cry, and to have people who I love around me because I need so desperately to be loved and supported right now.
9th-Jan-2008 01:00 pm(no subject)
cecilia virgin suicides
okay, i can't really hold it in any longer, but i also am not prepared to go to my own journal with this.

cut for medical procedures, gyn exams, not explicitCollapse )
23rd-Dec-2007 07:29 am - Ok scared now...
Blue Sky
My husband went out last night.  And he's not back.  He knows that I am up now.  I'm starting to think he's being mean or he's hurt.  I'm so sad.  He's probably just driving around, he's lost track of time or he's sleeping somewhere in the car.  I've been sick and crazy and maybe that why he had to run away.. I got mad at him last night because he had to clean up and hide stuff from himself.  He's such a scattered thing.  I don't know how to act.  To demand behavior from him?  To be releaved that he isn't dead... What if he is?   
27th-Jun-2007 09:56 am - I don't know what to do....
I'm so lost...one of my ex's e-mailed me on myspace a couple of days ago. I can't believe he finally found me. I've been trying to avoid him ever since I broke up with him. I feel like I'm going to have another panic attack writing this....but I have to get it all out.

I tried to talk to my counselor about it but all she said was "
flattery is good for anyone"...just because he said i was looking good as always....i just don't know.....

And now he's talking to my brother....
I knew he would find a way back into my life....damn him...why can't anyone just listen to me...first my therapist...now my brother.

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