So my good friend told me for the second time that I'm mean to people I'm not dating. She even felt it right after we called it off.  When I'm dating them or all about them..everything is roses....but when I'm with someone else......I'm really really mean. 

I can tell that I get short with them and the convos...but mean?  I don't see that. But she can...and it's not the first time she's seen me do it...or said it. 

So now i'm wondering where this comes from....why do I do it?  I know i get defensive a lot. But why mean?  I don't understand. The only theory I  could come uup with was that it was learned from my parents. If that is the case, how do I start sheding love instead of this meanness.......?  Just being aware of it helps...but how do I become active about it?  I don't know.