mauvedragon (mauvedragon) wrote in _survivors_,

Why I hate Mother's Day

I've had a bad day, depression wise. My subconscious has been producing thoughts of self harm again although there is no real drive behind them. It's partially stress, fatigue, me starting to be sick again and partially Mother's Day.

Dear Mum,
I just couldn't face another Mother's Day. I regret that this means I don't get to see my brother for his birthday but so be it. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

You emotionally, verbally and occasionally physically abused me for years. You disrepected my beliefs, my feelings and my wishes. I'll always remember the lack of support when my friend Mark died of cancer in '04. I may not have ever met him but I was still grieving. You'd brought me up to be your little girl and then as a teen and young adult, you failed me again, and again.

I'm at the point where if you don't start respecting the boundaries I set, I will have nothing to do with you. Stop trying to change me. This is non-negotiable if you want to keep having a relationship with me. The next thing we'll be doing is having both of us visit my clinical psychologist. However, unless there's a change, I'm quite prepared to cut down the communication to a bare minimum. I'm prepared for the consequences, are you?

Your loving and angry daughter.
Tags: boundaries, depression, family, stress

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