when i post i usually spend the first part rambling before i get to what i want to really say, so im just gona go straight into it.
Also i am 19 and my knowledge about sex is really limited. I think people tend to think if you have been abused you know lots about sex from a young age. But at school durring sex education i didn't want to know, i see sex as dirty, i feel like it is wrong for me to be sexual with anyone, it scares me. I can't let anyone near and even if i did have sex with anyone i wouldn't have a clue. I don't even know what my female parts look like, i hate them, i feel like they are damaged. My friends talk about sex all the time but i feel dirty if they mention it, or even tease me about likeing boys. I haven't got a clue about sexual organs. My house mates talk about a girls clitorus (spelling?) and i have no idea what that is, but i could never ask and i don't think i really want to know.I can't look it up on the internet or anything because i am worried what sort of sites would come up and how they would make me feel. I just wondered if this is normal, or if anyone else feels like this?
I really just want somebody to hold me right now but i can't let anyone. I guess i have to get on with my course work.