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coping mechanisms 
1st-May-2007 07:43 am
Lesbian kisses
I'm still sorting things out here, and for some really really strange reason, I now think it would be fun and a great way to deal to get a 2nd set of piercings and a tattoo. Haven't done it yet, but as the feeling is more than a couple days old and isn't leaving, I very well might.

Is this normal, the feeling of wanting to add something to yourself to make up for assaults/etc? I'd always kinda-sorta-maybe wanted a tattoo, but I've never been able to screw up the guts to do it. And now that this has come up, I'm just thinking that the world doesn't last forever and you gotta live life. Buwha?

Also, in case anybody knows, are there any sort of Hatha Yoga places that are decent in the Denver, CO, area? I really want to start doing it, both as a relaxation method and a get-in-shape method. >.>
1st-May-2007 02:01 pm (UTC)
I have a tattoo (since it is on my lower back, I can't take a photo of it) that, in retrospect, has quite a bit to do with my being victimized... It is the Sankofa and Gye Nyame symbols overlapped (Gye Nyame is outlined, and Sankofa is filled in with black). More info is in my profile...
1st-May-2007 02:09 pm (UTC)
i have a survivor friend who got a tatoo with the chinese or japanes symbol for survivor. i was thinking of getting that also.
1st-May-2007 02:28 pm (UTC)
I seem to do this with clothes or costuming. Not the same thing, but perhaps similar? "the feeling of wanting to add something to yourself to make up for assaults/etc" - yeah, that's the feeling I get, though it may express itself in a different way.

Hmm, I did get my ears pierced on my 18th birthday, just because I didn't need permission anymore.Hmmm...

Anyway, to answer your question ("is this normal...") - I'm inclined to believe it is.

*safe hugs and support* for whatever you decide. :-)
1st-May-2007 02:58 pm (UTC)
I have eight tattoos, and each one takes back what was taken away from me. Each has significant meaning to me. I was terrified when I got my first one, but honestly? It didn't hurt. I have one on each shoulder, one on my back, one on the inside of each ankle, and one on the outside of each ankle. And I have one on my wrist. I plan on getting another on my wrist when my cast comes off, and I want one on my feet and then another on my back.

I found the action of getting each one very healing. I have one for my Grandma who died in 2002, and I plan on getting one for my Dad as soon as I can figure out the placement. Do they hurt? Sort of, not really. It's hard to explain. It's a good pain, if that makes sense.
2nd-May-2007 10:43 pm (UTC)
It's a good pain, if that makes sense.

Yeah, that does make sense. Thanks.
1st-May-2007 08:11 pm (UTC)
Not weird at all! The tat in my icon is one I got actually in recognition of everything I'd survived. For me, every time I see it I can remember that despite the overwhelming odds, I made it through.

I also got piercings in honor of things, too. Every time I see them I remember "I stood up to my abuser and got those piercings when I wanted to" and get a feeling of pride. It's a great *always there* reminder of the things you've accomplished. :D
2nd-May-2007 02:05 am (UTC)
I didn't necessarily get my tattoo in response to my abuse, but when I got it, the similarity to what sex for the first time should have been like for me was unmistakable. I also finally felt like an adult, because I had chosen to do something strictly for myself, in such a permanent way. Tattoos, and any other body modification can be rites of passage, and can represent what you've been through, and what you wish for in the future, as well as who you feel you really are. They're something that resonates on a deep level.
2nd-May-2007 10:44 pm (UTC)
It's funny that you call it a 'rite of passage,' since that's ... where I work. Seriously. Hm. I wonder, now, if that has anything to do with it.
10th-May-2007 03:59 am (UTC)
A couple of months after my assault I had my eyebrow pierced as a motion to reclaim my body as my own. Since then I've had 4 tattoos that have become a very important part of who I am.
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