ElliKatFan07 (ellikatfan07) wrote in _survivors_,

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quick question.

I was just wondering, how could I get keep myself from stop shaking (my heart beats really fast and I shake a lot, sometimes I feel like I can't breathe) when i am around men. I mean for those of you who read my posts you know I was raped, and I take karate & also have talked to my instructor. 

She is very helpful and I only work with girls, but i still get very nervous when  a guy is around me just watching go through the moves with the partner. This is a problem because I have testing for karate next week and there are four guy instructors and one female, they all have to watch us. This sounds so stupid, you'd think I would be able to let a guy watch me and be around me but I get still get so nervous even when they aren't touching me.  I just don't want to fail my exam, and all of the instructors  have to be in the room with us there is no way around it. 

I mean, I try (and will try even harder) to suck it up the best I can but sometimes it's out of my control. 

do I make any sense? I'm not sure I do


Tags: gender-related fear/anger, rape

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