Cate (seecatedance) wrote in _survivors_,

first post

i was raped late saturday night - well, early sunday morning i guess, around 4 am. i found this as a link from so i came here because i don't know where else to go. i guess i just want support or just to hear from someone who's been through something similar. to make a long story very short, i was out, met some guys who got me extremely drunk and high, blacked out, and a guy took me into a basement and had sex with me. when i came to i freaked out, pushed him off of me, got up and looked for my clothes. i kept falling over and was too wasted to even get myself dressed so he had to help me, meaning it was totally clear to him that i wasn't in the position to be be able to give consent, so i don't want to debate as to whether it was rape or not.

i don't know what to think about all of this. i have taken care of all of the medical things (testing, emergency contraception) so i'm just left with the emotional stuff. i know it's never the victim's fault but i really feel responsible. i also hurt physically - it was the first time i had sex so it was very painful. i'm very confused right now so if any of you have feedback or experience to share or links to websites that are helpful for this i would really really appreciate it. thanks so much!

edit: thank you all for your responses, i really appreciate the support. it's nice to know there's a safe place to talk about this.
Tags: rape: acquaintance/date, rape: substance-induced, seeking support

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