stac46days (stac46days) wrote in _survivors_,

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not the way I thought this would go

I started cutting after I was raped. I stopped Cutting last year on July 5th. This week I cut two times...I can't described how horrible I feel. I almost had made it a whole year, and now I am back at day 0. My body looks horrible. At first that is what I wanted because I never wanted to be touched again. Then when I was healing I wanted to feel beautiful again and that was hard to reclaim.

I feel like a worthless whore. I wanted so badly to run, to walk out the door and run for hours...but I can't because I had surgery and I can't even walk right now.
I feel trapt in a house with my abusers.
Tags: rape, self-injury, shame, triggers: reminder of abuser
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