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_Survivors_
A safe space to share stories and ask questions
Coping with a psychiatric diagnosis 
20th-Mar-2007 03:21 pm

I was just diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, in addition to PTSD and major depression, and I'm wigging out about it. I feel like this means that I'll never be okay, that I'm flawed from the inside out, and that there's no way to make me better without breaking me apart and rebuilding me from the ground up.

Anyone else ever feel this way?
Comments 
20th-Mar-2007 07:47 pm (UTC)
I can relate. My life has been a series of revolving diagnosises and treatments. After a while I'm starting to question if I will ever be better.

On a side note, did they talk to you about Dialectal (sp?) Behavior Therapy (DBT)? It can really help people with BPD and PTSD. It may be able to help you regain a sense that you have some control.
20th-Mar-2007 08:19 pm (UTC)
Thanks.

No, the diagnosing doctor was a psychologist (Psy.D), who was seeing me at the behest of the Division of Disability Determination, as I'm in the process of applying for disability, since I haven't been able to work for about two years.

I have read about DBT, and I intend to ask my regular counselor about it, the next time I see her.

Thanks again. *safe hugs*
20th-Mar-2007 10:55 pm (UTC)
DBT was VERY helpful for me in getting some of my destructive behaviors under control...and more than that, getting control over the thought processes that underlie them. I'd definitely recommend it.
20th-Mar-2007 10:59 pm (UTC)
I've been living with the BPD diagnosis for about 4 or 5 years now, so I know where you're coming from. There's a lot of literature out there that paints BPD as a hopeless diagnosis from which no one can ever recover, but that's just simply not true. My BPD symptoms are under control 90% or 95% of the time now, enough so that my therapist felt like she could throw out the BPD diagnosis.

I know it seems overwhelming right now, and that's normal. But there's hope! DBT is extremely promising for treating BPD, lots of good results, and there are other treatment approaches that help too.

If you're interested, I'm one of the moderators of a BPD group on Yahoo that's very active and recovery-focused. I can send you a link if you're interested...e-mail me if you want info: browncoatrebel.al@gmail.com

Sara
21st-Mar-2007 12:41 am (UTC)
Thanks.
20th-Mar-2007 11:37 pm (UTC)
I can totally relate. Each time a new diagnosis comes up, I feel first a bit of a relief (there's a word for what I'm going through!) and then I feel really broken. It's tough, because it just makes you feel so inherently flawed.

I certainly don't think you're flawed, broken, weak, or anything like that. You continue to face the diagnoses and therapy *and* your trauma history, and that says some spectacular things about you.

But - the good thing is - now that there's a name to it, it's easier to know which treatments to use. I had *great* success with DBT (dialectical behaviour therapy) for my Borderline symptoms that also helped me a LOT with my PTSD symptoms as well.
21st-Mar-2007 12:42 am (UTC)
It looks like I should really look into the DBT.

Thanks. *hugs*
21st-Mar-2007 03:14 am (UTC)
Some of it was a bit hard to look at and not chuckle (some of the lessons were a little cheesy)... but when you look at the core of the lessons, each one was great. About learning how to find a way to feel stable, even in the really chaotic times.

And at least with the exercises I did, I got to learn times when I could *practice* my coping skills in an appropriate setting (like practicing calm confrontation by asking a store manager to start stocking something they don't usually stock - there's nothing lost if it doesn't work out, but you get to practice without it being a matter of your job or a relationship - just a grocery item :) )
21st-Mar-2007 06:37 pm (UTC)
Cool, it sounds really interesting. I'll have to ask my therapist about it.
21st-Mar-2007 04:05 am (UTC)
i feel kind of like that. i'm so sorry you're having hard time. sending you lots of hugs.
21st-Mar-2007 06:36 pm (UTC)
Thanks. *hugs to you*
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