But I Appreciate all the responses. Some of what I said was a little unclear.
I don't have a therapist. I work at a counseling and consulting center. I actually handle the consulting stuff. My friends are all therapists, and at one pt I did receive formal counseling from one but it didn't work out.
The friend I was talking about in the post is one that has had similar struggles.
I think I am just so physically tired that I can't handle the emotional things. Emotions and mental health always come second, even when they are more important for me. Maybe it is just the way I was programmed.
Physical therapy is kicking my butt hard core, and I get to get up and do it tomorrow early in the morning. The electrode stuff and ice isn't as fun as it sounded.
But in all seriousness I know I am not ok, I just don't know how to get there. I thought when I stopped Self Harm I would just be ok. I forgot why I did it.
Thanks for the support