I am a laid back, go with the flow kinda person.
Anyway I say all of that just to simply say I have been thinking.
I realized something today. I am the only one responsible for what happens to me from now on. I have had a crappy past, my parents, the rape, cutting, my parents being sick...a lot of things I didn't choose, some that I did.
But now I have a choice. I have to at some point distance myself from the hurt, accept it for what it is, and what it was...and then move on.
I am responsible to learn new ways to cope, ways that weren't modeled for me.
This is so tough. But I know I must learn to trust again. So much hurt has taken place, and I don't want to invite anymore in. However I can't live like this. so I have to make the decision to either live or not, and because I want to live then I have to really live.
Anyway so here goes, I am ready to really heal.