stac46days (stac46days) wrote in _survivors_,

Sorry, you won't define me...

I have a lot on my mind, which isn't unusual for me. I am a thinker by nature. I joke about someone can say something to me today and I will respond two weeks later. I like to process things in my own time.

I am a laid back, go with the flow kinda person.
Anyway I say all of that just to simply say I have been thinking.
I realized something today. I am the only one responsible for what happens to me from now on. I have had a crappy past, my parents, the rape, cutting, my parents being sick...a lot of things I didn't choose, some that I did.
But now I have a choice. I have to at some point distance myself from the hurt, accept it for what it is, and what it was...and then move on.
I am responsible to learn new ways to cope, ways that weren't modeled for me.

This is so tough. But I know I must learn to trust again. So much hurt has taken place, and I don't want to invite anymore in. However I can't live like this. so I have to make the decision to either live or not, and because I want to live then I have to really live.
Anyway so here goes, I am ready to really heal.
Tags: acceptance, healing, processing

  • Thought Stirring Question: Public

    Many survivors fall into the habit of over-normalizing themselves. Many of us try to keep any negative emotions (depression, anger) hidden, or keep…

  • any number of things on my plate at the moment

    This is a really rambly post, so I hope I caught all of the triggers. - because of my housing situation being uncertain until last Sunday night (I…

  • You were Wild. Where are you now?

    "History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be un-lived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again." - Maya Angelou All my life I've…

  • Post a new comment


    Comments allowed for members only

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded