painstainedeyes (painstainedeyes) wrote in _survivors_,

nothing has been going on with me, yesterday I was a complete and totaly biotch. I was just cranky I guess, at my group home they moved me down to the downstairs bedroom which I absolutely hate because I hate big bedrooms, because that is where most of my abuse happened in was big bedrooms. I resisted it for about a week but got tired of hearing the "you are the only kid in the house right now that we trust to be in the downstairs bedroom" speal so I moved. I sleep like crap I wake up like every hour to an hour and a half. plus I can't sleep with lights on, but the only way I can be down in that bedroom is with the hallway light on and the door wide open. That way if I feel trapt inthere or unsafe for any reason while I am in there I have a clear easy shot out of the room. So, I'm not sleeping good at night, plus I just had my wisdom teeth on Tuesday, which btw SUCKED. well, it didn't until like 2 or 3 days after and I didn't have any pain either until Friday. It was mostly the drooling and not being able to feel my face that I hated. I had to eat baby food and yogurt which sucked too because I drooled it down the front of me, but it was kinda funny. I almost fell out of the chair when I first woke up from anestetic my dad caught me thankfully. Then I walked into a wall, and then into a door. =) I'm so goofy, haha. I have a camera full of pics of it all I'll have to get them developed and put them on here lol... I looked like a moron. One staff at the house started singing Alvin and the Chipmonks to me whenever he saw me, haha. I'm still swollen on my left side and have a gi-normous (which isn't even a word lol) on my jaw line, well its not too big, but I think it is just because it is on my face and I hate things on my face that don't belong there. anyway, I better go now... class is getting ready to end...

with love,
Tags: anxiety, depression, hypervigilance
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