Do you ever get angry?
Do you ever get so angry that you want to hurt yourself so that the pain in your arm or in your head or on your leg hurts more than the pain in your heart?
I want to hurt myself so that my heart will stop hurting.
Yesterday evening when I got home, I found there was no food in the house (except uncooked pasta, and a shriveled lemon), despite the fact that two of my roommates had been home all evening, and doing jack all.
I had no food for breakfast, and no food to take for lunch. I leave for work at 6:50 am, well before stores are open, and it takes so long for me to get to sleep that I can't get out of bed any earlier than 6:30. It doesn't help that my depression is kicking in, so that it takes me almost 10 minutes to drag myself out of bed in the first place. But work doesn't understand depression.
We were told when we moved in that we need to share chores and make sure that there is food for people. (We're here through a voluntary service organization, and not getting paid for our work, so we have no personal money to buy groceries with)
I am so angry at my roommates.
I am trying to cope without harming myself, but it's gotten to the point where I can't anymore. I'm at the edge where one more thing will push me over it. I need help.