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_Survivors_
A safe space to share stories and ask questions
First post here 
19th-Nov-2004 02:14 pm
Hi--
I hope this isn't considered too off-topic, but there is a really dangerous lj user I want to warn people about.

I started seeing this guy three years ago, and it was great at first. He got more and more violent with me, sexually, but stayed within the realm of stuff I'm into doing. Then, after spending a couple of months apart (he moved), he became totally violent. He would do things that were really out of line, without even asking if it was ok. He admitted to "fantasizing" about raping women and even children. After dealing with
this, and the increasing neglect for my safety and comfort, we broke up.

Now, he has a brand new lj. I discovered him in a community I belong to, and he has been joining all sorts of sex-related communities, basically describing himself as a normal person. It really freaks me out that he could get his hands on another woman. I tried contacting community moderators to explain what's going on, and no one has responded. One person said they would help get him banned from a community after hearing his side of the story--what's he going to say, yes I love to rape children, and the first chance I get...

Has anyone had any experience like this? I would like to do what I can to let lj users know about him, without putting myself and my lj in danger.

Thanks.
Comments 
23rd-Nov-2004 07:45 pm (UTC) - hmm...
i don't think i have anything too insightful for you, but i think your concern should be addressed. i can understand your worry, but unfortunately, i don't really think there's much you can do. you can leave comments expressing your concerns to users you think might want to get involved with him? i wouldn't do that, because it would require tracking him all the time. what i will say is that it's really important that you don't put any guilt or anything about this on yourself, because it is NOT your responsibility. you have to deal with the experiences you had, and getting the strength up to do that can be enough. really, there's no way you can prevent him from ever having a social life again. it's really unfortunate that it's gotten in-your-face here in lj-land, but i think the best thing for you to do would be to do what you've already done--put in a little bit of an effort to get a warning out there--and then go back to taking care of yourself. i can totally understand the desire to help others in this way, but i think it may up causing you more pain in the end. good luck!
24th-Nov-2004 06:04 pm (UTC) - Thanks
I do know that he's not my responsibility, but if someone knew things like this about a guy I was talking to, I would sure like to find out. In reality, even if he does make lots of lj friends, he probably won't ever even meet them. I sure don't want to try to keep up with his lj activity, either.
I don't care to stop him from having a social life, but I wish I could let people know that he is obsessed with...eh, all the stuff he's obsessed with.
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