I still haven't spoken to Jimmy. Parts of me are sad, parts of me are still taking in the fact that it's really over this time. The more and more I "miss" our friendships...The more I realize how much he used me. I am convinced it's hurts worse knowing that someone you hold so dear could be so hurtful, and not have tried for one moment to prevent it. Makes me wonder how much he ever really cared.
I think i'm just lonely. I don't really have any friends, and i'm always on random driving spree's to be out of the house. That way my parents don't ask and they just assume i'm out with friends. I miss going out early and coming home late. I miss all the memories that came along with having the best of best friends. I have six picture frames that remain empty because I have absolutely nothing to fill them with. I have a heart full of lonelyness and a whole group of co-workers who ask why I never go out, or why none of my friends have stopped by the store. Truth is, it's just me.
And my mom...She just keeps blaming everything possible on me. Not only does she keep randomly springing things on me like this must be carolyn's fault and this is her fault too cause afterall, I didn't do it, so it must be her. And her newest kick, once again, is that i'm overweight and she suggests I take excersizing classes here at the house and she'll take them with me for support. Yeah...thanks.