haylsterx (haylsterx) wrote in _survivors_,
haylsterx
haylsterx
_survivors_

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learning to fly

Sometimes i really don't know what to do. Do i want to continue living or just end it all? I'm sure some of you feel like that too. I've had a pretty hard life, being sexually, emotionally and i suppose you can say ritually abused too. I was also badly bullied because i was talented and clever. It took me a while to believe that the bullying wasn't my fault, but infact they were only jealous.
After the abuse and bullying, i became severely depressed. I cut, turned to bulimia and anorexia and became fearful of everything around me.
The person who abused me was my grandad. The abuse lasted for 8 years and i still don't talk about it. The details are too disturbing and i suppose i'm ashamed of some things.
One thing that i found helpful for my healing was a sheet that you basically fill out and keep so you can look back further down the line to see if your thoughts and feelings have changed.
I've filled mines out and if you wish, you can fill yours out too, just go onto my profile.x
Tags: abuse: incest, bullying, suicidal thoughts
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