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This is a little more personal than I tend to get, but I feel so… 
29th-Oct-2006 04:48 pm
This is a little more personal than I tend to get, but I feel so weird.
Does masturbating ever trigger anything with you? I thought I'd relieve some tension, but ended up feeling empty and incredibly sad afterward. My hands and legs are still shaking and I just wish my partner was here to hold me.

Getting depressed today and need to do something to break the pattern. Maybe I will clean the house and watch a comedy. I need to have my period and get my hormones back in check.
29th-Oct-2006 10:00 pm (UTC)
Yes, that happens to me sometimes, too. Really sucks.

Hope things start looking up for ya soon.
30th-Oct-2006 06:45 pm (UTC)
(hi autumnfaerie *hug*)

Yep. That has happened to me, especially in the year after college. Hope things get better!!!
29th-Oct-2006 10:03 pm (UTC)
Yeah, it's one of the things that still makes me feel dirty sexually :\
29th-Oct-2006 10:13 pm (UTC)
I used to cry and feel awful and alone and empty and self-hating every single time. At first I would feel that way with my bf, too. But the more I worked on my feelings and on healing from the traumas that happened to me, the less this happened, and 9 years later, it doesn't happen at all anymore, ever, ever.
29th-Oct-2006 10:18 pm (UTC)
I sometimes feel guilty after masturbation and I've also triggered myself...Which is terrifying. Among all people we should at least be able to trust ourselves.

On a totally different note I've love your icon a lot, hallow_warrior. Its give me warm fuzzy giggles every time I see it.
30th-Oct-2006 12:47 am (UTC)
I get triggered sometimes too. Sometimes for me, terrible images/memories go through my head towards the end & after I climax I'm so terribly upset/paranoid/angry/etc. I feel guilty & dirty, like I'll never get past what has happened to me.

I hear you.

*safe hugs*

30th-Oct-2006 04:11 pm (UTC)
Oh yeah, it happens to me more than half the time I'm trying to give myself some self-love. It's partly because sometimes really horrible things pop into my head, and partly because I've been made to feel guilty by past abusers when doing that.

And sometimes, especially if my husband and I haven't had sex in a long time, it makes me feel more lonely because we haven't been connected like that in a while.
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