mauvedragon (mauvedragon) wrote in _survivors_,

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Good but scary

I did something good but scary today. I e-mailed my best friend from high school asking for us to meet up to talk about my anxiety and depression after our uni exams. Everytime I have seen her since I told her about it she has asked very concerned questions. However it has been in public and we haven't been able to talk for long. I want to both be honest with her but reassure her too, that I'm getting help, that I'm looking after myself. I don't want her to worry.

The only reason why I haven't talked much about this with her already, was that during the time when the depression got really bad, she was in China for six months and she was difficult to contact. I think that occasionally made things harder for me but I don't want to tell her that because I don't want her to feel guilty about going, there was no way we could have known that this was going to happen and she isn't responsible for any of this anyway. She shouldn't feel that she shouldn't have made the most of the opportubnity.

I also want to discuss the fact that while I will get better from this time of depression, I will probably have to be treated for it again latter in life.

We had a classmate suicide in March this year, so the fact I'm even depressed has to be pretty scary for her.
Tags: support network

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