angelasnape (energycurrency) wrote in _survivors_,

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my ex-boyfriend, who was the one who sexually assaulted me, decided to call me at 1:30 in the morning. i haven't been speaking to him for almost half a year, and he sent me two text messages out of the blue two days ago. i ignored his text messages, so now he's calling me in the middle of the night.

i cut off his phone call, and went back to bed.

and then i had a nightmare.

a year ago, my ex-boyfriend sexually assualted me anally. i told him to stop, but he only held me down and insisted that i was a bitch who liked it in the ass. i left his apartment with bruises on my right hip.

in my dream, it all happened again. i was pushed up against the wall, and this man who's face i couldn't identify pressed his erection into my anus and spat in my ear: "you like it like this, don't you, bitch?" i tried to struggle but i couldn't move. i felt something entering me and i threw up.

then i snapped awake. i thought i tasted bile in my mouth and wondered if i needed to run to the bathroom.

i slept uneasily for the rest of the night. i hate him so much. sometimes i want him to die.
Tags: harassment, nightmares, rape: anal

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