i cut off his phone call, and went back to bed.
and then i had a nightmare.
a year ago, my ex-boyfriend sexually assualted me anally. i told him to stop, but he only held me down and insisted that i was a bitch who liked it in the ass. i left his apartment with bruises on my right hip.
in my dream, it all happened again. i was pushed up against the wall, and this man who's face i couldn't identify pressed his erection into my anus and spat in my ear: "you like it like this, don't you, bitch?" i tried to struggle but i couldn't move. i felt something entering me and i threw up.
then i snapped awake. i thought i tasted bile in my mouth and wondered if i needed to run to the bathroom.
i slept uneasily for the rest of the night. i hate him so much. sometimes i want him to die.