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_Survivors_
A safe space to share stories and ask questions
Hi :) News & more. 
7th-Oct-2006 09:09 pm
So, I don't post in this community much because I have a hard time staying online and whatnot but due to recent events I can start to make time. My boyfriend of a year and I just broke up yesterday for the last and final time. Too much is going on with school and both of my jobs, and I was getting tired of his shit and he kept saying it was me and my mood swings and whatnot; but I didn't have control of them because of taking birth control and so much stress.

But, my story is pretty upsetting and I won't go into it because of triggering moments but I lost my best friend because of my rape. He protected me & was killed because of it. My rapist did things for so many years to scare me and it just got too enough.

Well, the other day I found a note on my car on campus and it freaked me out beyond words and my ex (now) didn't even care about my protection, he was just like what do you want me to do and all I wanted was to be held or told everything will be okay, I promise. But no, so we broke up.. and well, my best friend I think spited him and five minutes later after breaking up with me, Chris got into a car accident (my best friend died in a car accident) and was pretty banged up. I was upset and as weird as it sounds, I sat in my backyard last night looking up and told Nick so. I saw Nick in my dreams last night and he said I only wanted to protect you.

Anyhow, this upcoming Thursday. I'm getting my tattoo in memory of him and how he protected me from my rapists and whatnot. He couldn't save me then, but he's doing a damn near good job right now. IU'm looking forward too it and I think my ex or another friend is going with me for support. I'll post pictures and whatnot, I'm just really excited.
Comments 
9th-Oct-2006 06:12 am (UTC)
tattoos are such an important thing to me. i have none so far, but i am very moved by people's stories behind thier tattoos. good job. thank you for sharing.
keep your chin up, girl.
10th-Oct-2006 12:31 am (UTC)
thanks. :) When I feel like saying my story, you'll understand more of an aspect of why this means so much.
10th-Oct-2006 06:59 pm (UTC)
im sure i will. im working on a tattoo that will be symbolic of the stuff that happened to me too, and i actually might be getting it sooner than i thought. ill post pictures.
16th-Oct-2006 05:36 pm (UTC)
Tattoos are SO healing. The whole process of them is so moving, and it gives you that period to really think about it, and you have that reminder, so that every time you see it you can remember it. I find that with my tattoos, each reminder of what happened gives me a chance to see how far I've come, to remember how much I loved that person. They are so very healing on so many levels.

::big safe hugs:: Welcome to the community hun, you can post as often or as little as you like, you're always welcome here
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