grandiloquence (spiffychicky) wrote in _survivors_,
grandiloquence
spiffychicky
_survivors_

Because of problems with billing for my STD tests, I was finally put in the position where I HAD to tell my parents about my rape and my testing, or else have my school's guidance office report it because they were "legally obligied". What bullshit. I went to them for help because I couldn't for the life of me pay for tests on my own, and after hours of "helping me out" they inform me that they HAVE to report it to the parent of a minor if a minor is involved in a "felony". And rape is a "felony" that I have been involved in. 6 months ago? Yes. Out of the country? Yes. They were all "What if this man does this to someone else. How would you feel?" How do I respond to that?! There was no way of tracking him down, even after the rape. I didn't know his name, where he lived, ANYTHING.

So because of this threat, and the absolute impossibility of paying my hospital bill without my family's insurance, I mustered up the strength to tell my mother, expecting her characteristic overreaction and wild upset.

Nothing

She was cold as fucking hell. She didn't look at me once. She was so angry that I wouldn't recount the details of the rape to her, because I was such an emotional mess that I absolutely couldn't have. I asked her not to be mad at me and she didn't say a word. I told her it wasn't my fault and she just looked away. I can't even begin to comprehend her reaction.

Up until now, the select few people I've told (my boyfriend and best friends) have been insanely supportive and understanding. But my own MOTHER. And she's not one of those stereotypical cold conservative unfeeling moms. I could always talk to her about anything. I can't believe this from her. I don't even know where to go from here.

At the very least, she's taking care of the hospital bill. I guess that's something.
Tags: invalidation, telling others
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