Rachel (arsinoea) wrote in _survivors_,

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Hey guys, it's been awhile since I've had something to say.

cut for drug references...

Well, as some people might know, I have been with my boyfriend for a year, and we are trying our hands at domestic life (which is going perfectly, except for doing the dishes, i hate that part :\). The issue at had is his semi- controlling past. Recently, after a long talk, he has lightened up a bit and given me my right of discretion in certain situations. But basicly, he has not allowed me to drink or hang out with friends. drinking is ironicly, not a huge deal for me, although alcohol was indeed the reason why I was sexually abused/raped 5 or 6 times. I find that I am very responsible, and only drink when I am comfortable with the people around me, and then, i drink barely enough to get 'buzzed'. My boyfriend's insecurity in reguards to me has also carried over to my use of marijuana. Its true that once I was a very irresponsible user, and used quite heavily. My attitude to both drinking and pot have matured impressively over time, and I see both substances as desirable in rare instances of social interaction. But my boyfriend has been set in his ruling that I drop both substances altogether, and I have my reasons and beliefs that it is not necessary to do so. I believe that I am able to show greater responsabilty with my useage with both substances.

Well, what do you say to all of this? My family, and I too, have had some history of addiction, ecspecially me with my preference to marijuana. What can I do to gain his trust? I have messed up before, by quitting pot and then doing it again behind his back, which he has taken as a great breach in trust and a downright betrayal. I just want his approval in the choices I make in life, weather they be good or bad.

Give me some thoughts, I'm quite desperate for an outside opinion.
Tags: control issues, seeking opinions, substance/drug abuse

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