ashley (broknashleydoll) wrote in _survivors_,
ashley
broknashleydoll
_survivors_

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i had a nightmare last night and i just cant shake the fear and everything that it left me with.

i dreamed that it was sunday, the one year anniversary of my rape. (well its only a couple days away) i opened the door and he was there. he was yelling how id accused him of rape. how i wanted it and im just a slut who tried to get him in trouble. he said he was here for our anniversary. grabbed me by the throat. tol me hed show me what it feels like to be raped.

he took me to the bedroom and he raped me again. and i fought back harder this time. punched his face and stuff. so he beat the hell out of me. left me there on my bed, face bloody and swelling so much i couldnt see. kept thinking he was gonna kill me but he didnt.

i called my boyfriend but he was on the east coast like he will be on sunday. and i didnt knowwho else to call. i lay on my bed alone and didnt move. didnt call the hospital cuz i didnt want strangers touching me. i hated the rape exam, hated ebing touched, being photographed, being hurt again. so this time i just laid there.

i cant shake this feeling of fear. ive been awake for an hour.
Tags: nightmares
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  • 13 comments

  • Thought Stirring Question: Public

    Nightmares, and nightmare reduction: Many survivors experience frequent or disturbing nightmares as a result of their abuse. Nightmares serve two…

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