Shadow Flying In Daylight (sistahraven) wrote in _survivors_,
Shadow Flying In Daylight

Thought stirring question of the week: Waiting for the other shoe to drop

If you haven't heard of the phrase "Waiting for the other shoe to drop", it's usually used to describe that feeling of dread, waiting for something bad to happen. You know that feeling when things are going well, and it just feels like it's too good to be true, like there's some catch to having this happiness? That's the feeling that "Waiting for the other shoe to drop" describes.

Many survivors of trauma and abuse experience this feeling. Whether it's because we were always most hurt when things were calm and stable, or our abusers intentionally attacked us when we felt good - it can be really tough to trust the feelings of safety, happiness, stability, and love.

Life is full of twists and turns, and for survivors sometimes it feels doubly so. Each random kick to the shins life gives you is bound to trigger you back to your trauma. After all, bad things always happen when we're feeling good, right? Even our own brains sometimes do this. We are most likely to recall a repressed memory or have a flashback when we are feeling stable, as your brain feels you are capable of handling stress better when you're already stable. So even when we can find happiness and safety away from our abusers, our happiness can be shortlived.

It can take a lot of time to get that feeling to stop coming up so strongly - a lot of time when you can consistently focus on accepting the unexpected bad things, and reassure yourself that your happiness didn't cause the bad things to happen. Consistency over time is the best way to fight that feeling, learning to trust life and people one step at a time before you can trust that things will happen and you can handle them

So this week's questions:
- When have you experienced this feeling of dread in your life?
- Have there been any times, even small ones, when you've been able to overcome that feeling? And if so, how?

- Examining when you most often have this feeling of dread, is there a feeling that connects them all? For example, do you feel people will betray you? Do you dread your partner cheating on you? Is there a common thread between most of those times?
Tags: anxiety, thought stirring post
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