My thought's are choking on you my dear (starromance14) wrote in _survivors_,
My thought's are choking on you my dear
starromance14
_survivors_

It happend on March 26 about 3 month's ago and it's still haunting me. I can't stop thinking about it. I hate this it's keeping me up at night and  don't know what to do. It's 3:26 a.m. 3/26/06 is when it happend, I don't even know what to say. I just hate this I have had so many sleepless night's because all I can think about is that night. I hate that I lost  my virginity that way it's not fair, I hate this and I know I have said this many time's before but I can't help it I will never wake up from this damn nightmare.

I have a year to press charges and I have seen him before. It's not like he just disapeared from my life no I still see him. Laughing it up with his friends whistling at me winking tourturing me I hate that. I can't even go shopping with out seeing him there.

Tonight I went out and I got in this car with this kid Jason, and we were just grabbing more beer and he leaned over and kissed my neck and I told him to stop but he's like oh you have a pretty neck and I tightened up and wanted to cry. I just lived the whole night over again, he raped me in my car, it's worst enough that i have to still drive it but to have some random kid trying to kiss me in his car I just couldn't do it. 

I want these nightmare's to go away I want to be able to sleep with out having to be woken up from my nightmares. Everyone keep's telling me to press charges, put him behind bars, how many other girl's has he done this to?! That's what I keep asking myself how many other girl's has he hurt because I was to scared to say/do anything. 

So here is my question, if I do press charges and take him to court what happens? I have never been to court and well I just want to know what will happen?

I just want to be able to sleep at night.
Tags: filing a report: what to expect, flashbacks, rape: acquaintance/date
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