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It happend on March 26 about 3 month's ago and it's still haunting… 
17th-Jul-2006 03:24 am
Dan/Emma trl ;; actors
It happend on March 26 about 3 month's ago and it's still haunting me. I can't stop thinking about it. I hate this it's keeping me up at night and  don't know what to do. It's 3:26 a.m. 3/26/06 is when it happend, I don't even know what to say. I just hate this I have had so many sleepless night's because all I can think about is that night. I hate that I lost  my virginity that way it's not fair, I hate this and I know I have said this many time's before but I can't help it I will never wake up from this damn nightmare.

I have a year to press charges and I have seen him before. It's not like he just disapeared from my life no I still see him. Laughing it up with his friends whistling at me winking tourturing me I hate that. I can't even go shopping with out seeing him there.

Tonight I went out and I got in this car with this kid Jason, and we were just grabbing more beer and he leaned over and kissed my neck and I told him to stop but he's like oh you have a pretty neck and I tightened up and wanted to cry. I just lived the whole night over again, he raped me in my car, it's worst enough that i have to still drive it but to have some random kid trying to kiss me in his car I just couldn't do it. 

I want these nightmare's to go away I want to be able to sleep with out having to be woken up from my nightmares. Everyone keep's telling me to press charges, put him behind bars, how many other girl's has he done this to?! That's what I keep asking myself how many other girl's has he hurt because I was to scared to say/do anything. 

So here is my question, if I do press charges and take him to court what happens? I have never been to court and well I just want to know what will happen?

I just want to be able to sleep at night.
17th-Jul-2006 09:58 am (UTC)
The sooner you do it the better. Gather any evidence you can (if there's any left), get your story straight, etc. They might make you see a shrink, but just be honest about eveything. If it gets out, and he's done this to other girls too, then they might feel strong enough to step up. Hell, he might even already have a history on file.

By the way, I don't count that as losing your actual virginity.

17th-Jul-2006 07:10 pm (UTC)
The police have the eveidence, and I already see a shrink so now all I need to do is just go to the court?
17th-Jul-2006 09:12 pm (UTC)
Good. I guess that's all you have to do then, although the whole court thing could be very stressful, so be prepared (worth it though if he gets put away).

I've never been to court so I don't really know how to go about doing it. I'd probably just go ask the police how to do it. Good luck. *hug*
17th-Jul-2006 09:52 pm (UTC)
If you press charges, you will first need to speak with the police, then (in my experience) with the district attorney. Court can be long a drawn out over a few months, and can be stressful, but is relatively simple in what to expect. Expect having to talk about the whole thing in detail three or four times, with different people. Expect the defense attorney to be a complete jerk (he's paid to not believe you).

Remember - no one can steal your virginity. The choice to be sexual with someone, to share physical love can only ever be made by YOU. I know how it can feel like you've been tainted because of being raped - but you are still 100% in control of who you choose to be your first sexual partner when you are ready.

The nightmares can be tough, really tough. When you wake up from them, if you can remember, say, "You will not control my life" Sometimes it can be a good reminder that though you are in a really, really tough part of the healing process right now, that you will heal and reclaim the happiness you deserve
18th-Jul-2006 12:22 am (UTC)
Well I went to the police the night it happend, and my parent's talked to their laywers. And the detective was asking me all these questions really fast paced and trying to mess wtih my mind, she was trying to show me what it would be like.

But I think the only way I'm going to get throug this is to put him where he deserves to go. Alright I'll talk to the detective tomorrow.
18th-Jul-2006 03:27 am (UTC)
Good for you, I'm proud of you for having the courage to take a stand to possibly protect other women!
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