livinglife (lostchild4ever) wrote in _survivors_,

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scared, and upset

i'm gonna cut this just in case it's alot about whats going on i need help this also might be triggering but i don't know
so yesterday was really hot as most of u know so i thought i would go to the pool for a swim everything was gooing great till about an hour before the pool closed.......... what happend was some kid i don't even know came up put his arms around my neck and his legs around my stomache i was like what the f**k are you doing he just laughed and wouldn't get of she i went under water dunking him he let go the came back to me again and did the same stuff but started humping me i was like dude get off of course he wouldn't so my friend splashed him he got of for like 30 seconds and did it again at this point i was about to knock the kid out i could feel his *thing* on me i started splashing him and told him to go away he started swimming away then turned around and called me a hoe and told me to go suck another dick i was like say wat you want so i started to talk to my friends keeping an ieye on him i notice he was talking to a guy i knew they both looked at me the he started swimming towards me i was like wat the f**k he was about to rap around me again but i started yelling telling him to leave me alone well of course he stared yelling i'm a fat ass bitch and that he was going to knock me out i was like bring it then he's like i'll get my bro's and we'll do it right here right now out of the corner of my eye i saw my moms fiance coming over he told the kid he needed to leave me alone so finally he swam away the to go and find out that the buddy that he was talking to told the kid he'll give him 5 dollars if he humped me 10 more time i was furious i got out of the pool and went to the manager and told him what was going on he said that is unessacary and not tolerated at the pool so i pointed the kid out and the manager was like i suggest that you have me call the cops so he did  i had to file a report and they asked wat i want done and i said a ticket so the kid got a damn ticket for disordiarly conduct but ya 

   another thing not even having to deal with wats on top is i found out i have to go to court for the older guy that raped me on august 27 and i have to go for court for a diffrent dude on august 1st i've found myself becoming weak to this 

         i'm still getting sick and haven't kept anything down for 8 days know i have know clue whats wrong with me and the gurl that was suppose to be taking me to planned parent hood isn't going to now b/c she says she don't have enough gas so i have know clue i'm frusterated and upset with everything i don't know all i do know is i feel myself giving up on the inside on everything no matter what i do i end up getting hurt in the end it's like i can't trust know one but i guess i'm gonna stop rambaling and get going
Tags: abuse: verbal, doctor appt, filing a report, sexual assault

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