lostmyfaith (lostmyfaith) wrote in _survivors_,

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 hey guys, 
my name is carlie, 
im 18 years old,
and i am new here.
I have been watching this community for about a week and a half now,
and this seems like a really safe, supportive group.
This is the first time i have decided to get some support since
i was raped almost four years ago.
The anniversary is coming up soon... July 28th
I have always pushed
my  thoughts and feelings away 
regarding the whole thing.
Some of my old friends even tried to convince me it never happened,
and for a while i believed them.
Or at least I tried.
I was in such a state mentally that 
what they said would just make sense...
But that only lasted for a while.
After that, I just wouldn't face it...
or I thought somehow I was
strong enough that I already had.
But as I figured out about a month ago,
I am not.
All the stupid mistakes I have been 
making the last few years
have had fuel to them.
I was trying to run.
And now,
I have lost the race and 
my rape has caught up with me.
So, here I am.
To learn from you guys,
to support you guys,
to heal,
and to restore my own faith
in people.
I hope you all welcome me with open arms.
Tags: introductions, invalidation, rape: attempted
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