savant bruised? (bravest_unsaid) wrote in _survivors_,
savant bruised?
bravest_unsaid
_survivors_

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small victory

I just now sent this e-mail. It wasn't much, I know. But I've been trying to send it for over 6 months.


Dear Professor [Name]'

Hello! I hope your summer is going well.

I'd first like to apologize for disappearing from your class and the Honors program last fall. I know that you were informed when I took a medical withdrawal from the semester but I always felt very bad for disappearing from my classes without a trace. Shortly after the beginning of the semester, I was almost raped and so I had to spend the remainder of the semester dealing with the fall-out. As you can imagine, it was not a particularly easy subject to broach, so I simply didn't. I did not, however, intend to be rude by simply not showing up to class and I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize for that.

Although clearly I am no longer enrolled in Honors, I was hoping that I might get your permission to take [Class] this fall (my last semester). I've greatly enjoyed the seminars I've taken and would love the opportunity to conclude my time at [College] with one, even if I was unable to finish the Honors program (which I do greatly regret).

Thanks in advance.

Best,
[me]

It almost felt easy when I did it.

Sometimes the things I read in here make me feel like what happened to me wasn't that bad. That has been said to me a lot. Or implied to me. Or shouted at me. I spent some time wishing that I didn't have to put "almost" in front of "raped" because then I wouldn't be questioned so fucking much. And I feel like most of what I'm still dealing with is not even that he tried to force his dick inside me but the fact that so many people just don't seem to think that its such a big deal.

But right now, I'm proud. Even when I was most ashamed, I was talking. I've been talking. And I'll never stop talking. And every piece of my life that has been dislodged, will eventually be replaced. By me.
Tags: school, telling others
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