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A safe space to share stories and ask questions
I thought I was strong enough to save myself. Basically I just… 
3rd-Jul-2006 04:26 pm
Dan/Emma trl ;; actors
I thought I was strong enough to save myself.

Basically I just got drunk I drank away my pain's I numbed my senses for a little while. I want my life back, all that's ever on my mind is getting more I want more pot, I want more Ecstacy, more acid, I want more. 

I need help and I'm scared to ask for it, Because what if my parent's say no? Or don't believe me? 

My whole life has been a whirl, I started to cut and I was strong enough to get through that, than I was raped and I made it through alright , and than I was introduced to drugs and I loved them, the feeling when your tripping, I thought I made some friends, I thought it was all going to be okey.

But I was wrong I'm exhausted and I can't save myself.
And now that I'm awake I have nothing to show. 

I hadn't cut for four month's and I just took my razor and slashed my arm again and again.
I want someone to save me because I'm scared.

I want need help and I don't know how to go around telling my dad that I'm killing myself. I don't sleep anymore everytime I close my eyes I have nightmare's and i wake up and go out and smoke away my problems.

I'm broke I have no money it's gone I can't even get myself to a hospital because I have no gas, and no friend's to take me.

Please someone save me. Please.
Comments 
3rd-Jul-2006 09:57 pm (UTC)
Ok, do you have a crisis line you can call? Look in the phone book and see if there is one listed. Call them and talk to them. No one has to know you did it but you. They'll talk to you, help you find options, and get you help. If there's no crisis line and you feel like you're going to do yourself harm, call 911. They will send an ambulance or a police officer to get you and take you to where they can keep you safe.

Even if your parents say no, or don't believe you, you know that you need help. That is what matters. You can get help. There are people that are going to believe you and will work with you to get that help you need. These people will help you know how to talk to your parents about what is going on with you.

Hon, I know you're scared. It's ok to be scared, even if it's not comfortable. That you're afraid means you care about yourself and know you need to change things.

Please, call someone and get help. Hang on, grit your teeth, and keep hammering away at it. You will break through and there will be better days ahead. I promise you. It might not be tomorrow or even the next day...but you will get there.

*HUGS*
3rd-Jul-2006 10:52 pm (UTC)
I talked to my dad yesturday and he was like 'o I called the docter but we can't take you anywhere until the insurance approves it." And I dont know what else to do unless the docter call's or some shit or he won't approve it my docter hate's me since I told him he was a an arse.

I just don't know what to do a crsis hotline? I will try that thank you.
4th-Jul-2006 01:59 am (UTC)
http://therapist.psychologytoday.com/nmha/state/IL/Saint+Charles.html

ok, I'm not sure if this will help, but its a link to finding a therpist in your area... please get some help... we love you and want you to get some help :)
4th-Jul-2006 03:02 am (UTC)
I have a therapist who is on vacation.
And a docter who hate's me since I hate him.

And my dad is like your fine sweetie.
4th-Jul-2006 09:35 pm (UTC)
Hmmm, maybe you should take your own recovery in your hands, it sounds like nobody is helping you, you are gonna have to try and help yourself...hope you feel better... hugs :)
4th-Jul-2006 02:43 am (UTC)
There's always one sure-fire way to get you help - call 911.

I know, it might seem drastic, but it will get you *immediate* help, and immediate access to mental health professionals, doctors, hospitals, and even rehab programs.

You're doing a great thing by asking for help - it's not easy to do, I know. Just try to remember, there's still hope left, and things can be okay. You can keep asking for help again and again - until someone listens and gets you the help you need - it's okay to shout it at the top of your lungs. You deserve to be helped and supported, love.
4th-Jul-2006 03:04 am (UTC)
I thought about calling 911 but I didn't need my parent's angry with me. They will be like your such a drama whore and now we have to pay for an ambulance and the neighbor's will talk.

And I came home and dumped my purse out for him, showed him my razor's all my drug's I had 2 pill's of E, and a shit load of pot and he was like don't let your mother see and walked away.

I don't know what to do to get to them.
5th-Jul-2006 02:57 am (UTC)
Hrm. Bummer that 911 might not work. Maybe just getting a ride to the hospital? Hospital workers can sometimes explain things better to parent-type folks
4th-Jul-2006 01:51 pm (UTC)
You can do this. YOU need to take responsibility to get yourself out of this mess. You are strong enough and you can do it. This isn't just about getting your parents to notice you - it's about you getting yourself help. No one else can save you - we can only give you advise about how to do it yourself.

1) Phone your dad's insurance yourself. Tell them your situation and ask them how to go about getting into rehab. Get the list of their approved clinics.
2) Phone your doctors and get transferred to another doctor in the practice (if there are a few there) or find a new doctor covered by your insurance (again phone your insurance and work this out.)
3)Make an appointment with the new doc ASAP.

It'll be ok - but you need to take some control over this situation.
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