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im back. well, my engagment is going really well, except for a small… 
13th-Jun-2006 08:40 am
im back.

well, my engagment is going really well, except for a small hitch.

my parents dont know about my so-called-relative and what he did to me, so they want him at the wedding. there is no bloody way he is going to spoil my day of days. i dont want them to know what he did, but i dont want him at the wedding, watching me with those sick eyes of his, making me feel so dirty. it will ruin my whole day, and i dont want Scotty to have to deal with all my shit either. so im very anxious at the moment, struggling to find a happy medium, trying to decide if i should let it all out.

im also going to the doctor in two days... i think i might be pregnant. *sigh* i know this sounds really awful, but god i hope not, i cant deal with that right now.
13th-Jun-2006 01:55 am (UTC)
congrats on ur engagement =]
& goodluck with everything
best wishes hun <3<3
18th-Jun-2006 02:16 pm (UTC)
thanks... its a scary time and its so nice to know there's people put there who'll listen :D
27th-Jun-2006 08:01 pm (UTC)
ur welcome...anytime
im here to talk & listen <3<3
13th-Jun-2006 04:32 am (UTC)
Congrats on your upcoming wedding :) That's awful, having to deal with him being there.

You might consider telling one family member in private, asking them to honor your request that he not be invited and not to let the others know why. It's your wedding, your right to decide who does and does not get to go.

Don't feel bad about not feeling happy about a possible pregnancy - that's a big responsibility to take on, when you've got so much else going in your life. I wish you the best and send you positive energy and prayers about that, and support you in whatever decision you make regarding the pregnancy.
18th-Jun-2006 02:18 pm (UTC)
thankyou... its so nice to not have someone tell me "you have it and you keep it forever!" (sometimes i curse my catholic up-bringing)

ive considered telling at least one person... its just trying to decide who... my family are a big lot of blabber mouths!
13th-Jun-2006 03:30 pm (UTC)
All you have to do is say "no, I don't want him at my wedding, or at any of the other festivities around my wedding". stick to that. You don't have to tell anyone why, not even your parents. If you are mature enough to get married, you are fully mature enough to insist on this *one* small situation.

* says the woman who caved in to all her parents requests just for the sake of some quiet, sometimes *
18th-Jun-2006 02:21 pm (UTC)
i know... it sounds so easy sometimes but its so hard! i tend to cave on alot of things... im not relly into conflict, and sometimes its easier to just agree. but dammit, its my special day and he wont ruin it for me! i think i'll go straight to him and tell him not to come (he's turned timid so this may work a bit)

thanks for the support and the suggestion, i didnt think about that option!
13th-Jun-2006 06:18 pm (UTC)
I agree with what others have said - it's *your* wedding, and you decide who is there and who isn't. If anyone asks, it's easy enough to say, "I have personal reasons for not wanting him there"

I know that families can cause a lot of stress especially with wedding planning, but ultimately that day is for you and your future spouse - and a day you should enjoy.

::hugs:: It's okay for you to not be ready to be a mother. If you're not ready, you're not ready. I'm certainly not going to judge you for wanting to be ready for whatever decisions need to be made. ::more big hugs::
18th-Jun-2006 02:23 pm (UTC)
thanks... its so nice to not be judged badly for those hard decisions you have to make.
*hugs* i know im not ready!
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