My thought's are choking on you my dear (starromance14) wrote in _survivors_,
My thought's are choking on you my dear
starromance14
_survivors_

This is the second one of my friend's to bitch me out in two months. I only have one real friend left and if she turn's on me than I will be friendless.

I am a compulsive liar ever since I can remember I have lied about anything and everything. It was just really easy for me to. When I was a freshman my docter diagnosed me with it and now I go to therapy and i have gotten so much better. Like I can control the urge to lie or catch myself. And like i dunno Im just soo worried that Amanda is going to turn on me too and than I will have no one.

I dont know if you remember what Howard wrote about me but this is what Jess wrote...

She had been my friend since I was three.

[protected post] [Jun. 2nd, 2006|10:59 pm]
[ And in that moment, I felt | content ]

I am SO done with your bullshit and it feels so damn good. You lie to me, treat me like shit, blow me off, steal from me. The list goes on and on. I know about SO much shit that you think I don't know about. It's rediculous. But get this: I'm not a moron and I refuse to be treated that way. I hope all your "friends" realize one day that they're too good for you. And that you don't deserve to have friends.

And just for the record, Chris thinks your a physcho and you creep him out. But he's not the only one who thinks so. Deep down, I hope that he'll end up liking me so I can rub it in your face. Does that make me a horrible person? Not as horrible of a person you've been to me for the past couple years.

I'm not obsessed with Nick. Absolutely NOTHING gives you the right to talk about someone you have never met in your life. I've probably talked about Nick twice to you and barely any of my friends have ever heard of him. Maybe you're just so fascinated by the fact that Nick is an AMAZING friend. Something you'll never be and have never been.

You're an attention whore and you don't deserve the sympathy people give you. You lie and make shit up to everyone.

I'm so done with this and you.

I wanted to cut so badly but resisted that urge, and I punched a whole in my wall and cried my eyes out and screamed and I still cant get her words out of my head.

She also went up to my face and said this.

"Why don't you just do us all a favor and kill yourself, you talk about it all the time and yet we never see any results. Here are the pills ((she handed me a bottle of tylonol)) seriously just do it take them and be done because I'm so sick of your bull shit. oo and why dont you go cry in the corner about being raped, you should be happy someone raped you because that's  the only action you will ever get. Slut"

and she walked away. I seriously have had so many suicidal/homicidal thoughts but the only reason I haven't is because I want to go to heaen and I know if you kill yourself than you immediatly go to hell and plus my family. I could never hurt them like that.

anyway thank's for listening.
Tags: abuse: verbal, relationships
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