lostparagon (lostparagon) wrote in _survivors_,

Hello, my name is Jade, and I'm eighteen. I could use a little help, hopefully you guys can provide.

I'm guessing backstory would help a bit, so here it goes. Because of the family I grew up with, and the neighborhood I grew up in, I had, from the ages of 3-10 only one friend. Comparitively, her house was heaven to me. There was no fighting, her mother was not constantly in mental hospitals, and since they were rich she had everything I could dream of. Her refrigerator fascinated me especially, as no matter the time of day you could take whatever you pleased from it, without the knowledge that you were taking it essentially from someone elses mouth.
She was extremely important to me, being my only friend, and providing me a place that seemed wonderful.
When we were around 5-6 we were playing in the basement with her younger brother who was if I remember correctly a year younger. She told me that if I did not suck off her brother she would no longer be my friend, and would tell her parents that I had told her to do what she was telling me to do.
She also, using the same tactic made me touch her, finger her.

I need to know if this was abuse. I need to know if I'm welcomed here. I need to know if this is one of the reasons why I'm messed up or if there's another reason I should be looking for. Please. Help.
Tags: abuse: csa, female abusers
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