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_Survivors_
A safe space to share stories and ask questions
New anti-rape campaign in the UK..... 
11th-Mar-2006 11:03 am
never ending story
Hi everyone. It's been a while since I have posted here, and I do feel a little guilty for having sapped all of the support when I was in need of it, and then not 'really' having been around to offer it to those of you who needed it, so I would like to apologise. But I am back now...

When I first read this article, I was absolutely exsatic that something of this size was going to take place in the UK, in my neck of the woods. I thought it was about time that measures are about to be put in place for our safety, but on reflection, my view has actually changed a little.

http://politics.guardian.co.uk/homeaffairs/story/0,,1726063,00.html

I think that this may actually heighten some of the problems. Righly so, it is being put forward with all good intentions, but personally, I don't think that they have gone about it the right way. I think that they our government is starting to treat adults as children, and that we are moving closer and closer to the dreaded nanny state.

Let me explain, I may be mad, so feedback would be appreciated........Ok, something needs to be done about rape allegations making it to court, but do grown adults seriously need to have written consent before doing what adults do? Doesn't that take the passion out of the moments when we genuinely want to sleep with someone? Maybe the same thing was discussed when condoms were first intoduced, but I was too young then.

This may cause a little anger among the community, as all of us here, me included, have experienced the trauma of an attack. We can't deny though, that there are some women out there who cry wolf out of revenge, vendictiveness or other motives. Would I be wrong in saying that this, while putting a fair majority of the true attackers in jail, also put a few innocent men in there with them?

I have to say that the idea of a jury making a decision that a woman was to drunk to give consent is an excellent one, this will defintely help.

Am I thinking too deeply?
Comments 
11th-Mar-2006 03:40 am (UTC)
but do grown adults seriously need to have written consent before doing what adults do?
Can't find what you're referring to there. I blame it still being technically morning ;)

Tbh, if the campaign aimed at men is attractive & well run, I think it sounds absolutely amazing. I don't want to criticise your views, but I can't really see where you're coming from.
11th-Mar-2006 07:49 am (UTC)
On my side of the pond, in Massachusetts, if you have had *anything* to drink alcohol-wise, you have lost your ability to give consent. Two drunk folks having sex can both be sent to jail for rape. Mind you, that just about *never* happens, but it's easier. Someone's intoxicated? Don't have sex with them.

That being said, I think the campaign is a very good idea, even if it does sound like a million dollar (or pound, I suppose) advertisement of the obvious.

But as someone who's had to explain to a man that he *did* rape a woman, even though he wasn't *intending* to, I have to say - not a lot of men realize that when they think "the girl's not very into it", it means that they could very well be raping her. Telling them simply to *ask* in those situations can prevent a *lot* of rapes, and the most common form of rape.

The program could work incredibly well to prevent the rapes occuring out of ignorance, simply by removing the ignorance. It won't prevent the violent rapes, or the drug-induced rapes and such, but those are more complicated to prevent anyhoo.

Anything that prevents any rape, and works without damaging the community as a whole, is perfectly good in my book
11th-Mar-2006 11:21 am (UTC)
My mother always used to say that ignorance to the law is no excuse to break it. And it's true. Even if a man didn't know that he was raping someone by not actually asking it's still rape.

I think the Ad is great. If every little boy (and little girl) was taught to always ask before anything happend then I do believe that there would be less victims in the world. I just wish something like this would be widespread in the US. Anti-rape ads instead of Anti drunk driving ads.
12th-Mar-2006 07:10 am (UTC)
I wasn't denying that it was rape. But if someone wouldn't rape, and they're not educated to know that the above situation is rape - you can teach them to actually stop and ask - and prevent that rape
12th-Mar-2006 09:41 am (UTC)
Oh, no, I didn't mean to imply that. I was just adding on to your thought. It seemed like a good area to put my reply to sort of reinforce you thoughts on the campaigne. Sorry about the confussion.
12th-Mar-2006 06:23 pm (UTC)
Ah, gotcha :) text-only interface leaves a lot to be imagined context-wise - sorry!
11th-Mar-2006 10:04 am (UTC)
You'd expect people to fasten their seatbelts before driving, but they don't, so (in my country, at least) they are constantly reminded to do so. If they didn't behave like irresponsible children, they wouldn't be treated as such. Same with rape. Better than men be treated as children than they end up raping women because they don't understand the meaning of consent.

...and I didn't see the part about written consent, either. O.o

And... I doubt the court would put a majority of men in jail just so there would BE a majority. they would put the deserving men in jail, and let fewer off. It doesn't mean that innocent men would go to jail.
11th-Mar-2006 09:12 pm (UTC)
i can't say i'm that concerned. really, i'd rather have a couple of wrongly-convicted men than have so little convicted that we do now.
14th-Mar-2006 04:07 pm (UTC)
If done right, this sounds like an excellent idea, because far too many men just don't GET it. Perhaps if it's explained thoroughly, they will.

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