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So...yesturday...my firend Chris came over....he skipped school and… 
25th-Feb-2006 07:16 am
So...yesturday...my firend Chris came over....he skipped school and was over at 730am.
So..everythign was ok..for a while. we watched alot of movies and just sat on my bed...than the idiot started putting the moves on me..
Ok..I went out with this kid for a whole summer and a few months in Freshman year..he knows my past, he knows his boundries and his limits..but yet he still pushed them and STILL tries to get farther.
It fucking makes me angry and sad and im NOT ok with it.God dman him. After he left I just cried adn I ended upp cutting becuase it felt like it did with my brother. I hate it I hate it and im so sorry.
Im a tease...actually I was ...Im so sorry, ill stop, I swaer. Im sorry im so so sorry.
25th-Feb-2006 06:08 am (UTC)
Whoa there, honey. First of all, you are NOT a tease. It's your right and your body to say no to ANYTHING anyone is doing with you. If he knows your boundaries and is still pushing them he is a selfish piece of shit and not worth your time. Don't blame yourself because you're afraid. You being afraid if a normal reaction because of what happened to you and you don't feel safe or comfortable with what this Chris guy is doing. Please please don't take it out on yourself because this guy is an insensitive jerk. Think about how you would feel if you looked at this situation from an outsider's point of view. What you deserve is a big hug, warm bath, and maybe a nice cup of tea NOT to be physically harmed. Screw this Chris guy. You deserve better and if he can't respect your boundaries he's not worth your time. And just so you know, I know a lot of people who were never abused who get just as upset when I guy pushes sex like that. You aren't weird or strange at all.


I hope you feel better.
25th-Feb-2006 06:57 am (UTC)
:Hugs: I know how it feels. Infact I just had a dream about my ex-boyfriend. He knew all about my past abuses, and yet he just kept invalidating me when I said 'no' or showed discomfort. And as he gained control over me, there was some sexual stuff. Usually after that I would stay depressed and would not eat or talk to him for a day or two. But even that did not make him stop, he still kept pushing.
If people know about your abuse they are supposed to be extra-careful to see your boundaries and not initiate things, otherwise they are just being selfish assholes.
25th-Feb-2006 07:36 am (UTC)
I have to agree with all of this. He sounds like a jerk, especially since he knew your history.
25th-Feb-2006 07:17 am (UTC)
You have a right to say no whenever it is you like. You can say no after flirting, kissing, touching, making out, and having sex. Hell, you could say no mid-orgasm and it is you right to say it. Anyone that tells you are a tease for expressing your *right* to consensual sexual enjoyment deserves a swift kick to their sensitive bits.
25th-Feb-2006 07:46 am (UTC)
I totally agree with everything, esp. with the "swift kick" part, I have imagined me doing that to my ex-boyfriend many times after we broke up.
Infact I think even if you dont say "no", discomfort is very easy to see, and if the person knows about you, then he should not initiate these things at all, till both of you are comfortable.
25th-Feb-2006 11:41 am (UTC)
if your friend knows about your set limits, and still pulls that shit, then he simply disrespects you. don't blame yourself, and maybe you should try to surround yourself with people who will respect you.
25th-Feb-2006 05:18 pm (UTC)
I have a friend who put me in a similar position, a couple of times. This guy has been one of my best and closest friends who has understood me on levels nobody else has, for years. He is well aware of my past, my limits, my boundries, and what I'll do if someone chooses to cross them. But sometimes when he drinks he forgets about all that and tries to put the moves on me(grabbing my ass, touching my boob, etc.).

And I slap him. I slap him hard, I yell at him and make a scene and embarrass him. Even if we're alone. I put him on the spot and make him feel like a total ass. And he apologizes and the respect comes back.

I try to not be around him when he drinks for that reason, but sometimes I'm not the one driving and he'll just happen to be there. Most of the time he is fine. Its never been a really big problem. The best advice I can give to you is that if you really want to keep this kid as a friend, you're going to have to set him straight. Plain and simple. You show this kid that you don't give a fuck if he's a random guy, family, or one of your best friends; your body is not for the taking.

26th-Feb-2006 09:31 am (UTC)
Firstly..BIG HUG!..next, please read and reread the replies you've received, if this guy knows your history and boundaries then he deserves a very strong kick to his you know what and then show him the door! You are not a tease nor do you deserve being 'punished', by this jerk or yourself! It must be my age or the 'mother in me, because all I want to do is hold and comfort you.. him..I'd like to sting up by his yu-hahs.
27th-Feb-2006 07:12 pm (UTC)
*Hugs* You've gotten a lot of wonderful replies, know that we love you and are here for you.
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