Kelly (janesaintclaire) wrote in _survivors_,
Kelly
janesaintclaire
_survivors_
  • Mood: shocked

Speechless

This past year has been the most difficult I have ever gone through on many levels, my rape included. I've healed a lot. I'm not 100%, but I'm better than I thought I would be. And just when I've gotten to the point where I am ready to move forward, to try relationships, I hit a setback. Most recently I have decided to try online dating because I felt it would be easier to transition into dating if there were conversations online and on the phone first instead of just trying to go out and meet people in bars, clubs, etc. That's when I found it.

He has a profile on Match. And the thing is, to read the profile he is almost normal. He seems like just about every other ad I've read and even a few I've replied to. The guy who raped me is on Match, has a personals ad that somehow is mildly normal, and he goes on as if all is fine. What is wrong with this picture? I am speechless. Totally and utterly speechless. How does this happen? Oh, no, wait, I know how this happens. I don't press charges, that is how this happens. I say nothing to no one, that is how this happens. He goes on because I let him. I want to throw up.
Tags: guilt
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