msukitten31 (msukitten31) wrote in _survivors_,

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  • Music: story pt. 2

note: i use "her" because i don't want to use her name

i had been having a pretty good day up to the point that this happened. i spent the day with one of now ex-friends and i was feeling good. after he left me, i decided to call her. i hadn't spoken to her in awhile, and i wanted to see how she was doing. while i was talking to her, i decided that i wanted to spend the night with her. she came to get me and when i went out to meet her, i walked past two of my other ex-friends. one of them gave me a pretty mean look and tried to look inside the van to see what she looked like.

we stopped off at a 7-Eleven to get some snacks before going back to the house to watch a movie. at this point, i realized that she lived a block from my grandparents. i thought that was pretty cool. and i was thinking about how i could come over to her house on breaks to hang out. i come into her house and say hi to her husband. she has two kittens and i start playing with. the movie of choice that night was Batman Forever. i think i was about an hour into the movie before i fell asleep on her shoulder. when i woke up, it was about 2am. she asked me if i was sleepy and i said yeah. she asked me if i wanted her to come upstairs with me. i said ok.

in her room, i started to change my clothes for bed. she wanted to help me change. i let her help me into my pajama bottoms. then she sat on the bed with me and watched me as i rolled up my hair. we laid back on the bed and talked. then she kissed me. i kissed her back. i think the red lights that she had in her room were turned on at some point. she started telling me how sexy i was and how badly she wanted me. she asked me if i wanted to do anything. i was ok with everything at first. she started kissing me and pulled my shirt up. she kissed my breasts and i did the same. then she pulled my pants down and began to perform oral sex on me. once i climaxed, i thought she would stop, but she didn't. i thought i could handle the intensity of what she was doing, but i couldn't. i tried to move myself into a position so that she could continue, but the pleasure quickly changed to pain. i told her to stop, and she wouldn't. i started to cry and she still wouldn't stop. at this point, i try to push her off of me and close my legs. i thought that surely she would get the message then, but instead, she forced my legs open and proceeded to perform oral sex on me. i feel her begin to shove her fingers into me and that only hurt more.

while i was crying, she pulls out a vibrator and pushes it into me. then she climbs onto of me and presses her body against it (the vibrator), the way a man would have intercourse with someone if he were to be on top. i put my hands to push her off of me, but she continued this motion and pulled her breasts out of her blouse with one hand and forced one into my mouth. she told me in a hushed tone that if i didn't suck on her breast, she would hit me. i did, but then i turned my head away and started crying even louder. she hit me and told me to shut up.she got off of me and i moved away from her, but every time i would move away from her, she would grab me or yank my arm to pull me back to her. she said she was going to leave me alone, and that i was a baby for crying because she thought i liked it rough. she also said that i better not go back to school and tell people that she raped me. then she grabbed me again and pinned me down on the bed. i pleaded with her to stop and started kicking at her. she said that it was my fault that she was doing this to me because i was so sexy and she couldn't help herself. she yanked my head back and started sucking on my neck. then she forced my legs opened again. i closed them back. every time i would close my legs, she would forced them open again. finally i was able to get her off of me and roll away from her.

she asked me if i was ok and i told her that nothing felt right because it wasn't Derek that was kissing me and hugging me. she wanted me to give her a kiss, but i didn't want to. she slapped me in my face. i kissed her. she wanted to hug her, so i did because i didn't want her to hit me again. she did hit me again because she wasn't satisfied with the hug. she wanted me to hug her the way that i would hug Derek. she said that she would leave me alone again, and i thought she would this time, so i laid down on the bed with my back away from her. she laid on the bed beside me and told me that even if i fell asleep, she would still going to do things to me in my sleep. i feel her hand on my thigh and i pulled away. she rolled over onto my stomach and pinned me down while she shoved two fingers inside of me. it felt like she was tearing me apart because i had closed my legs together as much as i could. i felt her force the vibrator inside of me and she twisted it around. it hurt more than her fingers did. she stopped and said that i had two choices. i had either let her continue doing what she was doing or she would let me sleep for an hour and then she would come back. it seemed those were the only choices i had, so i chose the second one, still hoping that she wouldn't do anything else to me. before she went downstairs, she said that when she came back, she would have her husband with her to have sex with me, and that i better like it. when she left the room, i passed out.
Tags: female abusers, rape: acquaintance/date, threats
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